Author Topic: Latest Movie You Watched  (Read 175224 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Human
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
Re: Latest Movie You Watched
« Reply #2805 on: August 11, 2019, 01:31:58 AM »
Fast and Furious - 3okyo 3rift. Not a good movie by any means, it literally ends with our white "hero" beating the native Japanese "baddie" down the mountain slope, almost as if this were a 1980's cusak movie.

Lil' Bow Wow can't win. I mean I know he dropped the "Lil" but in this movie, he's named "Twinkie" or "Twink". I'll save you some time, don't google that. It's a term for homosexual.

Vin Diesel phones in a cameo in the last minute of the film - literally. Good for him, it bought him the rights to Riddick. They jam in the "family" poo, even though half of the actors can't stand each other.

One note, the movies AFTER Tokyo Drift exist in a weird time bubble because this movie kills off Han, but he shows up in more sequels than is plausible.

Like he dies in 2006, but is still appearing in films in 2014.

That and you know, the Paul Walker thing.

I might watch the f4st and the f4ious tonight, I've got nothing left to read. I mean I'm sure I'll find more later, but I'm boredski.

Polar was poo, and nowhere near as brutal as the wick films. It's Netflix traash.


Okay, watched "Los Bandoleros" Aside from a Dominican Republic vacation, this was poo. Thankfully, it's only 20 minutes long. I do feel bad for Michelle Rodriguez. Vin Diesel wrote and directed her making out with him. Which is kind of "guh" if you stop and think about it. I mean people know Hitchcock treated his female leads like poo, but they didn't have to make out with him, in film.

I honestly mixed up the opening of the fourth film and this piece of poo. It's free to watch on Vimeo, but it's a complete waste of time, aside from establishing that while Han is Japanese, he was not raised that way. Prior to involvement in the franchise, he'd never left the continental united states.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2019, 02:29:31 AM by 8ullfrog »
just one little time change so a draft board in 1968 turns down the bribe to accept "bone spurs" and we are home-free.

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Human
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
Re: Latest Movie You Watched
« Reply #2806 on: August 11, 2019, 04:18:38 AM »
4ast 4our

I like Sophie Trinh. She doesn't drive a car, but she does most of the work in the movie, AND calls cowpoo on the premise of Paul Walker waltzing into CRIMEGANG

The race is very video game, bad video game. like the racing segments in GTA.

LOL, Trinh is still doing all the actual work, Walker is a charlie's angel, she ran the actual fingerprints.

Yup, total vidya game, they're in magic tunnels in the border that look like the mines in skyrim.

"You and me, we're not so different" - shows up again. weird note to reprise from 3okyo  3rift.

I like the bad guys with uzi's in the ford escort station wagon, that's furious, but isn't in any way fast.

Then they have trucks jumping. Perhaps I was too invested in the escort.

Now we have a desert chaase, reminiscent of 2fast2furious weird convoy of crime.

Now they're back in the mines of skyrim.

Actually, this final stretch is very similar to the down mountain race of the previous film. With a higher budget.

I do not recommend 4ast 4our.
just one little time change so a draft board in 1968 turns down the bribe to accept "bone spurs" and we are home-free.

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Human
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
Re: Latest Movie You Watched
« Reply #2807 on: August 15, 2019, 01:20:16 AM »
God help me, I think I'm gonna load up 5ast 5ive tonight.

AST 5IVE opens with a stunt that's a mix between Just Cause and GTA.

One of the annoying ones where you die constantly until you figure out the "trick" Still, hell of a sequence.

Another baddy has Vin Diesel wrapped up in chains and believes he has the upper hand. SUCKER! Sure enough, when baddies go for kill, CHAIN-FU.

Mr. Rock shows up and gets the one PG-13 golly permissable. Seemed a bit cheap. Seeing his arrival reminds me of the notorious runway from the next film. 5 miles long, I've read.


Apparently the baddie for this one is borrowed from Desperado. He gives a civilized, board room pitch. Dwayne is delivering garbage dialog but GOT DANG if he doesn't deliver.

Good news, bad news, he likes the dessert first. Then for the bad news, he says "Give me the veggies." That is GARBAGE, but he delivered.

Rock rides in a custom SUV, it's comical. Even with headphones I'm dealing with the quiet dialogue, deafining gunshots problem. golly this future.

Pretty sure MW2 straight up ripped the favella mission out of this movie, and I don't blame them. It's pulse pounding, no thinky action. Like, they portray Mr. Diesel as some agile cat, nimbly pimbly bouncing roof to roof.

Mr. Johnson SLAMS THROUGH CRAP, AND MURDILATES THE PANTYHOSE GANGERS WHILE HE'S AT IT. JABRONIS! It's visually stunning, but the way they cash on horrible poverty makes me feel bad for watching. This isn't toon town, people really live in these conditions.Interestingly, Vin's "crew" go non-lethal, punches, kicks, and running. As mentioned, Rock MURDILATES.

Almost seems his character has a murder fetish, and this chase allows him to sate it.

Okay, it's not subtext, Rock's crew straight up ventilates. They're not looking for confessions. Hah, then they confirm it, this isn't an investigation, they consider Vin and Paul names on a list.

Holy poo, they did an emotional scene where "Brian" talks about not even remembering his father, and "Dom" tells him he won't be like that. And then we segue into the "team assembly" scene straight out of the 1970's.

the two guys from the previous film, their schtick is spanish, and it's lame. Tyrese, lame. Ludacris, Holy poo, he does this one interested look with his eyes that is beyond this film.

I hear he goes by Chris Bridges in movies? Kind of like how Dwayne goes by Dwayne Johnson. Like, why build up the brand?  Either way, when Vin straight up Brando phones it in, This guy deserves a better movie.

I think the main hench was a backstreet boy? okay, my bad, Michael Irby is not a backstreet boy.

We get a bodycount on the favella, Rock smoked 16 baddies. The RC car segment was fun. Not as much car action in this one as heisting. We get some beauty shots, but the racing portions of the series seem to be ramping down, if not gone.

poo, they literally cut the race segment. I thought I was going to eat my words, then nope, they just get the porsche. Gal Gadot gets to be pretty. She's dang good at it.

They try to do a bit about the team being burned, but it doesn't work, they're CRIMINALS. One fun subversion, they kind of rely on the "it's not really him" thing with Vin having his back to Rock, then it isn't. It really is Vin.

I kinda dig the "I don't feel under arrest" bit. I also dig the second, total Stallone voice officer from the ROCK STEADY CREW "Come on H, Another day."

Also fun politic, Vin throws out that Rock isn't in America, and all the gangers pull their pieces.

Another thing I like from these films, when we go into the homes of characters, they do a good job dressing the sets. I was impressed with it in 3okyo 3rift, and I like it here. It's a weird depth of character developent that's honestly out of place in these films.

Another surprisingly deep scene in a crap film. 3rift reprise, which is funny, since this is supposed to be before 3rift. HOLY CRAP, THE RIDICULOUS SOMETHING MEASURING CONTEST ACTUALLY HAS A POINT IN THE PLOT!

They needed to know the cars could burn, and then showed them being super cool for the viewer. That's like, double payoff. This movie has no right pulling something that clever.

I really hope most of the vin/rock fight was CG, because Rocks head meets a lot of hard metal right edges.

what.the.golly. this movie just went hurt locker.

Rock's rock mobile survives, his entire team dies. even stallone voice. The vault pull is completely ridiculous, but I can't lie, it's compelling cowpoo.

Also somewhat lazy that they establish ALL the cops in the chase are baddies, and thus, expendible. oh dang, vin is murdering them with his giant vault flail.

Then rock just straight up murders the baddie, like a sneeze. Seriously, he must be bless'ed the president to get away with that poo. We were told baddie runs Rio, then BLAM BLAM, like Rock doesn't even look at the politician when he kills him.


The vault fake out is cheap. Honestly, Gal Gadot earns her MVP this movie. Dang. Sleeze lord grabbed her ass, and it got them 100 million dollars. Talk about a sexual harassment settlement. Plus the politician is dead!

Hell of a mid credits scene too. Hey, Dead person might not be dead!

Weird thing, I drank like, a poo ton of beers watching 3, and wrote far less than I did on Ast 5ive. One beer this time. Can. Miller. Not really worth writing about, but still.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2019, 04:29:59 AM by 8ullfrog »
just one little time change so a draft board in 1968 turns down the bribe to accept "bone spurs" and we are home-free.

Offline goldshirt*9

  • Super Hero
  • *******
  • Posts: 6515
  • Gender: Male
  • Who yous looking ats
Re: Latest Movie You Watched
« Reply #2808 on: Yesterday at 10:49:46 PM »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3vO8E2e6G0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3vO8E2e6G0</a> Rocketman     really enjoyed
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAaILWzI1cY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAaILWzI1cY</a>  McKellen Playing the Part   interesting
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u61ymqblUU0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u61ymqblUU0</a>  COLD BLOOD  so so
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tySUZIiXObc" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tySUZIiXObc</a>  ???
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU8-7BX9uxs" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU8-7BX9uxs</a>  John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum   you know exactly what your getting

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Human
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
Re: Latest Movie You Watched
« Reply #2809 on: Yesterday at 11:49:59 PM »
Fast 6.

The one alotted PG-13 F-drop was a lot less cheap. Good life advice actually.

If a girl shoots you, STAY THE golly AWAY FROM HER.

The Rock is jumping around like spider-man, which I found somewhat less believable

The crew is assembled fairly quickly, less time being spent on it than the previous film.

The baddies drive weird F1 cars with metal flip plates, I'm sure that was a hell of a toy. With all the toy tie-in films I'm shocked Fast and Furious doesn't do a hot-wheels tie in. But I have heard the eventual goal is fast and furious in space.

The captioning unsynced, I was mucho unhappy.

I broke for dinner and came back.

Gal Gadot, DANG.

We get a baddy comeback from a prior film

And then we get a hot car moment, almost as if they remember what the series was about.

The Letty / Dom Car race is honestly more romantic than the actual prior interaction. Nice callback too, he makes her fire off her NOS tank before he does, which was a primal sin in the original movie.

I just realized, we got stupid nose punch agent, but Sophie Trinh doesn't come back. That's a damn shame, she was a decent character in a cookie cutter lineup


Rock's script derived banter has improved. Which isn't saying much, but it is more fun.

That's why people like the Rock in movies, he makes garbage look good.

"Brush up on your spanish, I'll see you in España"

Honestly, I'm reminded of KnightBoat at this venture.

Every week there's a canal, or inlet! or a Fjord. QUIET! I will not hear another word against the boat!

OH poo IT'S A TANK

That was good. I even like that Egg Diesel was willing to die for Rodrieguez. That's a nice beat, when Vin is about as romantic as a toaster.

Rock pulls a weird double cross that makes no sense, besides ROCK AND ROLL MANG!


OH NO - FIVE MILE RUNWAY TIME!

Baddies pull the C-130 unit. Russians are flying it for some reason.

Okay, yes, the fact that they are still on the runway after several minutes of fight scenes IS confusing. Entertaining as hell though.

1:50 - things are a bit of a mess at this point, multiple people are firing harpoon guns? and they all fail?

Gal Gadot gets eaten by darkness? like literally, she pulls out a gun, shoots at baddie, and vanishes into the dark. Maybe they didn't want to do a gritty death scene for her character?

I feel Jordanna Brewster has been somewhat mistreated by the franchise. She didn't even get a sex scene before she got damseled off with a baby. She does get some drive time here, and she makes the most of it, driving and emoting.

The C-130 blows up, dramatically, with Vin Diesel aboard. He blows out of it, stupidly, and his car really spins about.

We end this scene at the end of the runway. Took long enough.

Vin walks from the flames like a terminator, Mcguffin in hand, PARDONS FOR EVERYONE!

I've heard the Rock V tyrese line was an ad-lib. Tyrese says "hide the baby oil." Rock says "Hide that bigass forehead". Ludacris spit-takes.

Elena kind of gets screwed in this ending too.

Dang, Letty is almost drafted, Stockholm style. I've already said I find the Letty / Dom relationship off, now it's worse.

We are introduced to Jason Stateham. No clue why they didn't work in the transporter. I guess it's because Transporter was 20th century Fox, and the Fast and the Stupid is Universal.

THE END


I HATED Wick 3.
just one little time change so a draft board in 1968 turns down the bribe to accept "bone spurs" and we are home-free.

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Human
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
Re: Latest Movie You Watched
« Reply #2810 on: Today at 02:45:28 AM »
Furious 7

Huh, I guess we're not doing the name thing anymore.

Anyway, ANOTHER ONE? another one. Han died at the end of six, or middle of three. Whatever, he's dead, the fast and furious time bubble is popped!

HECTOR IS IN THIS!

Hector is in like everything. His name isn't actually Hector, but that's the character he plays. Check IMDB. Hector.

Oh hey, they're actually acknowledging the fact that Letty has no clue who Letty is.

Well, they didn't explode Elena, like I thought they were about to.

The fight scene is a bit cheap. I was hoping that Jason Statham would use Rock's size against him, instead it's just a stupid punch punch.

Brian is unsettlingly fertile. Poor Jordana Brewster is knocked up again. And much like Cat Dennings when Natalie Portman ditched Marvel, she's bent out of a future movie role here. I honestly can't say if this is a good or bad thing, considering what little screen time she gets.

Dang, good bomb sequence, I thought it waas going to be han's head in the box, Se7in style.

Movies REALLY LIKE the Panasonic Toughbook. From what I remember, they're pieces of poo in an impressive case.

short insulting 3ast 3urious interlude.  Now we're in LA, so everything looks like GTA 5.

Stupid dickwaving chicken game where neither Vin or Jason swerves. OH poo - Mr. Nobody. I don't want to spoil it, but dang.

So the shadowy government people want Goldeneye, sorry "god's eye"

Written by a hacker named Ramsey. This is hilarious, because there was an old pre-youtube video called hacking with ramzi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAQqrnX7BsM

Tyrese actually gets a play. I like it.

They almost said furious.

I've never skydived, but I deeply enjoyed the dropping cars sequence. Like, how the hell would that feel? I do know that cars have been dropped without people, but that seems like it would be nuts.

I also notice the Brian Dialogue getting thinner. I know they finished batman without ledger, but I wonder how this one will turn out. I mean is Brian just going to be a head in a car from this point?

Okay, so Brian gets some fighty scenes. With the cars, I'm starting to wonder why they don't just stop. Bad guy has to speed, the good guys not so much.

We get a weird stunt reprise from a scene in the second Jurassic Park film, I dunno, seems off. Tyrese gets a shining moment. I feel like the mountain scene was supposed to be the opening of the film.

Okay, now I get what was weirding me out, that's Missandei. Seriously, Missandei gets the cheesecake scene. And it's quite the cheesecake scene. With added misogyny. Men calling dibs on DAT ASS, with rock paper scissors.

Well they are in the UAE.

Ronda Rousey shows up, and dang. I never thought I'd consider Michele Rodrieguez a delicate waif, but every time she punches Ronda, I expect her hand to snap off. Ronda is a BRICK HOUSE.

Ronda doesn't really have acting chops. Gina Carano was in the previous film, and she was friggin Philip Seymour Hoffman compared to poor Ronda. Like, JAWS, from the old cheesy bond films laps Ronda.

The fight is pretty hardcore.

Luda gets to throw some close quarters. Looked good! But then Vin gets to do some CQD - driving, you get it.

We get creepy surveilance, and baddie is hiding out in a MW2 map. Mr. Nobody gets a pretty cool but sadly short scene after his protege eats it, but honestly, what a waste.

WOW, Mr. Nobody is secure in his masculinity. Lets Vin Fireman carry him. Mr. Nobody has Tony Stark level armor. Sadly, it's IM1 level, and he's gutshot.

I kept expecting Mr. Nobody to cross the team, I'm happy they didn't. Mainly because Mr. Nobody is one of my favorite actors.

The secondary baddie, I'm having trouble with him, because he was some stupid greebly beard baddie in an MCU movie. one of the Thors? I think they changed cars a couple times, Missandei goes from a 70's beater to the rice rocket Brian is driving, and it isn't explained, she's just in a different car now and deal with it. And they're up against VTOL drones, that give up? For some reason.

Seriously though, I wish they'd cast anyone but silver beardo for chopper baddie. Vin and Jason run chicken against each other, again, and once again, neither choke.

Beardo baddie blocks the hacks, Rock gets high, and loads up his gun. Vin and Jason caveman fight.

Same thing with Michelle vs Ronda, Jason can't nimbly pimbly against Vin's HUGH ARGH.

Wow, Rock slams an ambulance into the drone enemy. That was impressive. Then he picks up a vulcan cannon (Minigun)

Ooh, I actually like this, when the baddies lose their nightmare surveilance ability, the military sends in fighter jets to kill the golly out of them. A lot of time in the movies, it's like "At this point, the military would say golly it and carpet bomb the movie." And that gets some play here.

All the baddies die, Rock drags Jason Statham off to " We point guns at you 24/7 prison"

The team sits on a beach watching Dead Paul Walker be not dead.

Honestly, the veneration seems a bit much to me. Dude liked 13 year old girls.

Anyway, that's where 7even leaves it. Giselle, Han, and I guess Brian are dead.

Eh, I got nothing going on tonight, maybe I'll mainline it until hobbs and shaw.

I DO know that the 30 year old 17 year old from 3okyo 3rift was only permitted to do this one cameo by CBS. I guess NCIS holds your life by the balls. Sucks for Sean Boswell, works out great for Michael Weatherly.
just one little time change so a draft board in 1968 turns down the bribe to accept "bone spurs" and we are home-free.

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Human
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
Re: Latest Movie You Watched
« Reply #2811 on: Today at 05:18:19 AM »
F8

It's a little fun seeing Universal jump companies each film and wondering if we'll get that bombast theme.

We don't here. We open on a long strip of ocean straddling road. We're in Cuba!

Asses abundant, but I shouldn't whine, that's a series staple.

Eh, Vin being folk hero is stretching things even beyond existing stretch.

Oh hey, Dom subscribes to the T2 life plan - No fate but what we make for ourselves.


Rock Hakas with little girls, dang.

Not gonna lie, I want a movie where those girls are the crew. Vin is getting long in the tooth.

Rock's character gets a first name, LUKE HOBBS.

Oh poo, they're actually acknowledging that Vin is burnt out on this.

To be fair, Rock did lock the team up AND got several members killed over the last two films.

OH NO WE'RE ON A RUNWAY!


Wow, I'm shocked at how blatant the shift is from old FF to Hobbs and Shaw, like it's literal.


WHAT THE golly TORMUND! TORMUND AND FURIOUS. GIVE THIS MAN A POLAR BEAR TO RIDE INTO BATTLE!

DAMNIT, Tormund is a bad guy? NO! ME NO LIKE!

Jason Statham is a bad guy at this point, but you WANT him to win.

Huh, Rock does some parkour poo, and it feels less crappy than when he was spider-man jumping two films ago.

Statham gets his first good guy moment, saving Missandei.

oh god, they're seriously damseling Elena. And worse. They add a baby.

I DON'T LIKE TORMUND BEING BAD GUY!


This is a fairly well written out for Jason Statham, he's not a baddie, he's been blackmailed!

Huh, baddies hacking the "collision detection" on vehicles and using it as a swarm attack is fairly scary stuff.

I'm surprised the vehicle companies allowed this, one of the barriers to racing games is manufacturers saying they don't want their cars scratched up in any way.



DAMNIT, TORMUND, STOP BEING BAD GUY!

They fridged Elena. I don't like that, it's poo writing. Making the "Man" work through his trauma. Cheap and bad.

On to the polar sub base.


Serious MW2 flashbacks here.

Soviet base, nukes in play.

Okay, that's nonsense. Charlize Theron directs Tormund to kill Dom's team, yet he leaves Dom sitting in the car.

That makes no sense, Dom would be the first person to shoot.

I do like that Roman is the straight up bait in this sequence. In the last movie it didn't really pull off, but he does play the highly visible bait extremely well. He IS driving a bright red Lambo, on an ICE SHELF.

Damn, he killed a whole team of baddies.

Oh dang, the Shaw brothers. That's like, a reference even. I didn't get that until now. Shaw Brothers.

A good reference.

I like vin's crazy eyes when he faces off with Tormund, that was dope. CRAZY EYES YO.

I thought the pacifier was hilarious, having Jason Statham be a bloodier, more horrible version is a laugh.

Still mad about Elena, that was horseshit.

Oh dang, this is the COD4 mission at the end where you storm the plane. Maybe it was MW2, it all sort of blurs.


But Jason Statham in a murder spree with a kid carrier is gold. He even gives the little dude ear protection. MVP Statham!

Rock getting in a jaws line "We're gonna need a bigger truck" is pretty boss, considering he's been riding in an oversized SUV since he showed up.

Honestly, I wish the kid was Jason Statham's. (it would be way cooler)

God Damn!

Eight seasons of game of thrones, they kept saying "the pack survives"

And this movie tops it simply by having "the crew" stack their cars in front of Vin Diesel so he doesn't die.

Seriously, cheap heartstring pulling or not, it bought me, as a viewer.

I do like that they didn't make Scott Eastwood evil. Would have been super easy, but they didn't do it.

He even gets to attend "familia" dinner.
just one little time change so a draft board in 1968 turns down the bribe to accept "bone spurs" and we are home-free.

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Human
  • *****
  • Posts: 1770
Re: Latest Movie You Watched
« Reply #2812 on: Today at 05:29:54 AM »
I'm about to watch a CAM for these reviews. Do you get that? a CAM!

Hobbs & Shaw

I don't like the GI JOE poo with Idris. Or the virus.

I'm getting really annoying bitcoin ads.

Hobbs & Shaw make breakfast, Shaw sells it.

One thing that this movie should make interesting is that Hobbs no longer has access to "The crew" something he's relied on since joining the series.

Rock drops a "Nice Tats" line.

I'm a little pissed that the CAM is letterbox. I mean we're all on 16x9, aren't we?

I'm digging the development on Shaw, children with explosives. YEEEEAAAAHHH!

And his mom picks locks!

OH poo RYAN REYNOLDS!

Double Snap, Reynolds is a LANNISTER!

Hah, a co-op on the one PG-13 golly!


Aww, half an actual rock quote. Take the chair, turn it sideways, and shove it down... a throat.

NOOOOOOO Threaten to shove it sideways up his candy ass!

I am enjoying the film.

crap, more idris.
some technical superiority poo out of Deus Ex from 1997


OH GOD DAMNIT, the worst cutscene cowpoo out of a video game type plot.

Not only is everyone decent put on their ass, the baddies get an unstoppable window to do whatever they like.

The movie is good, but this type of writing is always poo.

sure enough, Idris is some robocop type poo, Statham already killed him.

And of course, Idris has a tron cycle.

Honestly, this whipidey dipitty poo is more likely to kill the franchise than Vin growing additional neck folds.

Yup, idris tron-cycle gives him the edge. Instead of credible threat, he comes off as cheat codes.

Oh man, Ryan Reynolds played the shoneys line from Rick & Morty.

We got a stupid "They would be much more powerful as an ally" "They must join us or die" scene. Funny enough, Idris is CON, he doesn't want to bring them in.

I HATED Idris so far, but he's got an idiot boss.

Now I feel bad for the killing machine. Gotdamnit.

More bitcoin poo.

Weird, they actually talk about gender politics when Elena got killed last movie.

I don't like Kevin Hart, but he's good in this.

Hah, he job interviews.

I do like the gear up, and the rock mock.

idris gets a bit more blah blah.

We get our "poorly written film" 45 minute countdown. I don't remember the minute count on the actual film, but it was less than 45 minutes at this point.

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but Iron Man was supposed to have a stupid 15 minute countdown, instead they actually wrote a compelling showdown. They didn't want to, but the visual stunt they were going to use didn't work out.

Hobbs & Shaw work through the vehicle bay. painfully.

Oh hey, competent baddies. I can't say I like it, but it was about time for them to roll into some movie.

un-subtitled russian dialogue.

Hobbs is up poo creek. Shaw is up poo creek.

Weird, this is almost the same premise as Rainbow Six. A privliged elite being allowed to survive, while most of the world dies. It's probably a fairly common roadmap.

I think this might be the russian distro, the science guy said something I didn't understand, then killed some baddies with a flamethrower.

Idris killed flamethrower boy.

Cult lab got blown to poo.

Statham's car is straight up a halo warthog without a minigun. Like, the fact there are no lawsuits is mindboggling.

They even do the endstage warthog run where you drive the level to avoid death.

A lot of movies do the "I got you" grab. The rock is someone who can sell that. If he reaches out, he's got you. like, I would feel safe. Would you?

Hah, Kevin Hart got a solid utility pickup. I know I've been saying MVP over these reviews, but Kevin Hart is solid support.

I think Hattie gets MVP, she was willing to carry SUPER EBOLA.


HAH, seeing Rock get called Skin and bones is hilarious.

Samoans with a pickup and can of gas more effective than battle of Winterfell.

That being said, they went from night to day in about 30 seconds.

I think this was an Army of Two map, to go with the MW2 map thing I've mentioned in prior films.

Movie is long enough it triggers the Are you a robot warning. on a pirate website.

Honestly, the entire defense is poor. They had to keep one woman protected, and instead they went full loincloth.


And that meant the baddies got the woman.

"good guys" snag a blackhawk with a tow truck.

And reel the baddies in like a fishing pole.

Idris executes a pilot for, flying wonky?

okay, Rock's people are dothraki with trucks.

Truckraki hit the Nos, it's super effective.

More fishing pole nonsense.

They realize they can't beat Idris without co-op, so that happens, with all the slo-mo implied.

Bitcoin nonsense shitted up the climax. I THINK they outlasted the countdown? But Idris is still there.


Okay, Idris got windows updated to hell.

I don't get the mid or post credits scenes, because CAM.


So, overall, I probably would have enjoyed this movie in the theater, but I'm glad I didn't spend the cash.
« Last Edit: Today at 07:55:23 AM by 8ullfrog »
just one little time change so a draft board in 1968 turns down the bribe to accept "bone spurs" and we are home-free.