Author Topic: What are you doing right now?  (Read 206510 times)

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Offline smokester

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3495 on: December 03, 2019, 04:31:02 PM »
You're allowed to be selfish when it comes to spending time with your kids. Either way, it sounds like you and the missus did good so whichever way he goes, he's well prepared to face the world.

But is the world prepared .....
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline smokester

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3496 on: December 04, 2019, 10:32:02 AM »
Let him go. If you don't do it now it gets progressively harder (both for you and him).

Every kid deserves to have his college years away from parental supervision.

While that's true, these days your university years put you into debt for decades. He has the opportunity to negate that and then be in a position to bail once and for all.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Online 8ullfrog

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3497 on: December 04, 2019, 10:43:51 AM »
I mean, if he wants the independence, all power to him.

But I'd kill to have more time with my dad. And that's not hyperbole. Like line up the convicts, I'll make Khorne proud.

Thank you for supporting your son, he seems to be on an impressive track. And you gave him those tools. I salute you.
just one little time change so a draft board in 1968 turns down the bribe to accept "bone spurs" and we are home-free.

Offline JackFrost

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3498 on: December 05, 2019, 02:04:08 AM »
Um, sorry to interrupt, as this seems like kind of a serious conversation I'm butting into, but:

Wow! You guys are still here after all this time?

I came back to see if my Top 20 Comics thing was still here since we're almost to 2020 and I wanted to see how stupid I was back then. Saw you all posted as recently as yesterday and just had to at least say "hello". Found my password still works and here we are.

I've only read the last couple of pages and I feel reluctant to offer an opinion, but I will join the others, smokes, in being impressed with both your and your son's accomplishments. Well done, lads.

At any rate, apologies again for cutting through...

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3499 on: December 05, 2019, 02:25:09 AM »
Wow! You guys are still here after all this time?

I came back to see if my Top 20 Comics thing was still here since we're almost to 2020 and I wanted to see how stupid I was back then. Saw you all posted as recently as yesterday and just had to at least say "hello". Found my password still works and here we are.

I've only read the last couple of pages and I feel reluctant to offer an opinion, but I will join the others, smokes, in being impressed with both your and your son's accomplishments. Well done, lads.

At any rate, apologies again for cutting through...

Nope.  You are enjoying the fruits of a fertile imagination.  But welcome back, anyway.

You are alone in the universe, a universe where smokester is an ideal dad who worries about the future of his promising progeny. 

I say, a) let him go if it's the best place for him to study, and he feels strongly about attending the place and has good reasons for it
and b) if he's cool with staying home while he attends a local school, then fine.  The economic advantages are obvious and he seems like a bright kid who can do a cost benefit analysis among other skills.  Don't feel guilty about that.  But let him decide.  I think it's great that you are so supportive.

Offline smokester

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3500 on: December 05, 2019, 05:27:53 AM »
Um, sorry to interrupt, as this seems like kind of a serious conversation I'm butting into, but:

Wow! You guys are still here after all this time?

I came back to see if my Top 20 Comics thing was still here since we're almost to 2020 and I wanted to see how stupid I was back then. Saw you all posted as recently as yesterday and just had to at least say "hello". Found my password still works and here we are.

I've only read the last couple of pages and I feel reluctant to offer an opinion, but I will join the others, smokes, in being impressed with both your and your son's accomplishments. Well done, lads.

At any rate, apologies again for cutting through...

Wow! Your post was a pleasant surprise. Really it was.

Thanks for the compliments and I can't stop thinking back to the photos I posted of my kids building an igloo on Clapham Common back in the early days when the old guard were all active. Now my son is about 6'2" and rolls off advanced mathematics like it was going out of fashion (such a far cry from igloo construction in both ways), I'm not sure whether I should feel proud of the progress or woeful of how old I've become in what seems like a very short period of time. I suppose I should remember that I went through my latest endeavour expecting about another 15 years in the workplace, so I'm not completely over the hill yet.

Nope.  You are enjoying the fruits of a fertile imagination.  But welcome back, anyway.

You are alone in the universe, a universe where smokester is an ideal dad who worries about the future of his promising progeny. 

I say, a) let him go if it's the best place for him to study, and he feels strongly about attending the place and has good reasons for it
and b) if he's cool with staying home while he attends a local school, then fine.  The economic advantages are obvious and he seems like a bright kid who can do a cost benefit analysis among other skills.  Don't feel guilty about that.  But let him decide.  I think it's great that you are so supportive.

I was chatting about this (our forum debate) with him last night and he thinks he'd probably utilise the facility to stay in "halls" for the first year, and then move back for the remaining 3 (he's applied to do a 4 year degree with a built in masters) to minimise outgoings and be close to the work I'd give him. Seems like a good plan but has no one mentioned to him the existence of the opposite (or same) sex, romantically speaking? That could dictate your "living" situation.

It isn't really debt, per se, but more of a specialised tax. If a graduate doesn't earn enough, the outstanding sum goes away, and if they do earn enough they are subject to a special-to-person supplemental tax for a while, to pay (some part of) the money to the guvmnt. It really isn't like a mortgage.

-- you can certainly contribute to him to ensure that the debt doesn't get too high anyway, if that is your intent (but beware - students have a habit of spending their income on things other than reducing their debt! Your contribution would likely be better in paying his tuition/ rent/ fees rather than in real beer tokens)

Thankfully, he kind of thinks like me in as far as debt and would prefer to stay away from it if at all possible. This is in stark contrast to his sister who get advances on her allowance, and then gets advances on advances. She's a walking credit card in the making.

I could employ him at £100 per day and I'd still earn twice that on his input as he's better skilled than most I employ as he's worked hands-on with me since he was in single figures. He also, while liking an occasional beer, has a bit of an aversion to overdoing it as he thinks I drink too much. Point being that it wouldn't really be helping him out as a gesture, it would be good business all round and whatever he chose to do with his income would be entirely his own affair. I'm pretty sure that it would go on something "techy".
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3501 on: December 06, 2019, 11:46:07 PM »
I passed that exam.  I submitted the test and then covered my eyes because I was afraid to see the results.  When it said I'd passed, I couldn't believe it.  It was so hard, demanded so much knowledge and I really felt overwhelmed at times by it.  At least I can put that class to bed for the term.  And maybe I'll get a job as a result of the additional qualification.

I'm watching an old episode of Inspector Morse that has lots of people getting hit over the head and pitched into vats of beer at a brewery.

Offline goldshirt*9

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3502 on: Yesterday at 01:09:48 AM »
Well done 6
Sorry Smokes what does your son want to study ?
My son is in his last year of UNI (5 years) and is having a few interviews for jobs afterwards in the profession he studied (cannot believe how any dont get a  job in their subject  ???)
The debt is the debt not to worry about.
If he studies at imperial let him have the first year in Uni digs and see how it go's. They need thay bonding with fellow drunks
sorry future leaders

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3503 on: Yesterday at 03:06:03 AM »
Thanks, Goldie.
Smokes, I'm getting ready to go to Germany for about 10 days with a friend I met in my first semester of college.  Those relationships forged at school can be very beneficial and last a lifetime, so I encourage you to let him go if he's inclined.  It's an opportunity for him to strike out on his own in a sheltered environment and to meet new people.

Offline smokester

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3504 on: Yesterday at 05:44:16 AM »
I passed that exam.  I submitted the test and then covered my eyes because I was afraid to see the results.  When it said I'd passed, I couldn't believe it.  It was so hard, demanded so much knowledge and I really felt overwhelmed at times by it.  At least I can put that class to bed for the term.  And maybe I'll get a job as a result of the additional qualification.

I'm watching an old episode of Inspector Morse that has lots of people getting hit over the head and pitched into vats of beer at a brewery.

Congratulations six but was there ever any doubt. I bet you smashed it!

Well done 6
Sorry Smokes what does your son want to study ?
My son is in his last year of UNI (5 years) and is having a few interviews for jobs afterwards in the profession he studied (cannot believe how any dont get a  job in their subject  ???)
The debt is the debt not to worry about.
If he studies at imperial let him have the first year in Uni digs and see how it go's. They need thay bonding with fellow drunks
sorry future leaders

He's doing 4 A's (he's actually the only person left in yr13 doing 4) which are: math, further math, computer science and economics. He's applied to do math and computing at uni which is a 4 year course with a built in masters.

The thing is, I got him some work experience at Lloyds of London and a week at BNP (I.T side) and both the banking and I.T side were suitably impressed with him. He doesn't really want to be a banker as I.T is his forté by a country mile, but, as I'm sure you know, if he ever had designs to live in London and have a family etc, he'd need to be in the real top earners. That's really why he took economics but LSE didn't really offer him a course that Imperial the others could.

It's tragic how with the world in it's current state, young adults can't really just pursue their dreams without financial consequence. When I left school you could have chosen to be a florist and still have been able to buy you own home, car and raise a family.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3505 on: Yesterday at 01:09:56 PM »
He sounds like he's going to have a bright future.  Investment banking is a way to amass a good deal of money in a short time.  London is pretty densely populated.  I'm sure it's great when you are young, but probably rather expensive as a place to raise kids.  Your son sounds pretty driven as well as practically minded.  So he'll be fine, no matter what he decides.

We were in London about 10 years ago and staying near Bayswater/Notting Hill.  We walked by a realtor's and were amazed that rents were advertised at the per week price.  I guess giving monthly or annual prices would melt people's brains.  We were shaking our heads.  Rents are really high around here, too, driven by the exodus of Silicon Valley/San Francisco people seeking cheaper real estate (and having the ironic effect of driving up once had been barely affordable prices into the absurdly expensive).  I can't imagine what you need to do to buy a house there. 

Offline smokester

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3506 on: Yesterday at 04:07:42 PM »
On and average wage in London, you'd spend from between half and 2 thirds of what you earn on your rent alone. If you wanted to buy, a one bedroom flat would cost upwards of £350,000 and I'm being conservative with that figure.

In reality this means if you just wanted you own 1 bedroom pad without any plans for a family, you'd need to be on about £100,000pa just be able to qualify for a mortgage. If you wanted a 3 bed to start a family, you be looking at about 1.3mil which would mean a salary of around £400,000pa.

The situation is just ridiculous and it's not going to get better any time soon.

Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: What are you doing right now?
« Reply #3507 on: Yesterday at 10:25:25 PM »
It sounds only slightly more expensive than around here where a 1 BR condo costs around $650k or slightly under 500k pounds.  The question is what do you have to do to earn enough to pay for it?  And I'm talking about 780 square feet with one bath.  With condos there are associated fees that are added to the mortgage, etc.  So, yes, it's similar in that so much of the earnings is devoted to housing that there's not much left over for other things.  It's not clear how this came about as this used to be a relatively affordable area, but no longer.