A mourner at a funeral was asked to take the stage and say a word in respect of the departed. He clinked his glass, took a deep breath and said "plethora". He walked off stage and moments later the wife of the deceased approached him with a tear in her eye and said, “Thank you. That means a lot”.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.

I'm properly ahead of the curve with this "no mow May" idea. I started June last year.

The missus wanted to watch "Dead Boy Detectives" so I thought I'd give it a go. I suppose it's my current "favourite" as it's the only show I'm watching, but I am finding it decidedly meh.

It is lovely.  Recipe here:  http://www.gourmet.com.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com/recipes/2000s/2009/06/raspberry-buttermilk-cake.html  I add ¼ c brown sugar + ¼ c chopped walnuts & ½ tsp of cinnamon to the top before I put it in the oven.

It works as a nice coffee cake for breakfast or as a nice afternoon snack.  I don't know if you get buttermilk in the U.K.  I suspect that substituting an equal amount of plain yogurt will work as well.

I'm having tea and need to go roll out some scone dough.