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Stuff White People Like

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CMF:
A very funny site: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
If you haven't already, you must take a look at it.  ;)

CMF:
Here are a few of my favorites:

#8 Barack Obama



Because white people are afraid that if they don?t like him that they will be called racist.

#16 ?Gifted? Children



White people love ?gifted? children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn?t that amazing?

I?m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it?s been a pretty sweet run.

The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as ?gifted? and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.

But wait, aren?t there white people who aren?t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?

Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.

Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can?t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.

Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.

This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say ?oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?? at which point the parent will say ?yes.? Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say ?my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?? To which the parent will reply ?oh, yes, he?s too creative and smart for school. We just don?t know what to do.? Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.

But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.

ohcheap1:
Undercover Brother: Are you telling me there really is a Man'?
Conspiracy Brother: What do you think? Things don't just happen by accident! Sometimes people - mostly *white* people - make things happen!
Undercover Brother: So the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are true? The NBA really did institute the three point shot to give white boys a chance?
Conspiracy Brother: Of course!
Undercover Brother: Then the entertainment industry really *is* out to get Spike Lee?
Conspiracy Brother: Come on man! Even Cher's won an Oscar! Cher!
Undercover Brother: Then O.J. really didn't do it?
[Everyone looks away and mumbles]

ohcheap1:
[to Undercover Brother]
Smart Brother: If you're going to fit in to white America, you're gonna have to learn to like MAYONNAISE!

CMF:
I never understood the mayo joke  :(

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