I'm coming up on a year since I got my diagnosis. I'll admit I fell off the wagon when I got it, and I still struggle with wanting to drink, which is made worse by the fact that it would be so easy to walk to cvs and buy a bottle.
I still haven't come to terms with it. It feels like I died, and this is just, a long sad afterward. The stigma against my condition is even worse. Even the charity that helped me get through the diagnosis and treatment process had a tinge of judgement to it, insisting that I "know" how I got it, when really, I don't. I've always been sickly, but I don't know if they ever checked for this before. Only times I went to the doctor were when an employer required a piss test or physical.
It doesnxt help that finding information on my condition is less than easy, one site I visited even spoofed a .gov address said that even with treatment, I had only 2-4 years to live, while expert doctors have told me I can live out a full natural life.
Insurance, honestly if I didn't have state subsidized insurance I would be dead by now. Even then they made me go through a process at the pharmacy I found humiliating. And the pills are $4000 a month. The most I've ever had on hand is $5000, ever.
And the moving forward bit, it seems so far away. I've tried applying to social security, and was denied on grounds that I may face "some fatigue" due to my condition. Some days I can barely manage to get up just to take my pills.
I haven't seen my counselor since July, I've kept my psychiatrist visits to "The pills keep me from being insanely paranoid", and my case manager discontinued services because I honestly didn't know what case management meant.
The most I've heard on progress is 3-6 months from my lawyer.
So yeah, I'm managing to take my pill every day, but not much else.