Topic: Stuff White People Like

[CMF]

A very funny site: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
If you haven't already, you must take a look at it. 

[CMF]

Here are a few of my favorites:

#8 Barack Obama



Because white people are afraid that if they don?t like him that they will be called racist.

#16 ?Gifted? Children



White people love ?gifted? children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn?t that amazing?

I?m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it?s been a pretty sweet run.

The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as ?gifted? and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.

But wait, aren?t there white people who aren?t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart?

Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations.

Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can?t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school.

Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash.

This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say ?oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?? at which point the parent will say ?yes.? Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say ?my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?? To which the parent will reply ?oh, yes, he?s too creative and smart for school. We just don?t know what to do.? Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more.

But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear.

[ohcheap1]

Undercover Brother: Are you telling me there really is a Man'?
Conspiracy Brother: What do you think? Things don't just happen by accident! Sometimes people - mostly *white* people - make things happen!
Undercover Brother: So the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are true? The NBA really did institute the three point shot to give white boys a chance?
Conspiracy Brother: Of course!
Undercover Brother: Then the entertainment industry really *is* out to get Spike Lee?
Conspiracy Brother: Come on man! Even Cher's won an Oscar! Cher!
Undercover Brother: Then O.J. really didn't do it?
[Everyone looks away and mumbles]

[ohcheap1]

[to Undercover Brother]
Smart Brother: If you're going to fit in to white America, you're gonna have to learn to like MAYONNAISE!

[CMF]

I never understood the mayo joke 

[hmed2390]

I never understood the mayo joke 

delicate and white i suppose.

[jacktheripper305]

white people like mayo. thats all there is to it!

find me a black person who likes mayo, and I'll find you something else that doesn't exist.

 

[Skadi]

delicate and white i suppose.

It's the anti-tabasco.

The site is too funny.

[smokester]

White people tend to have very strange ideas of their slightly darker brothers and sisters.  

http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/index.html

[Skadi]

White people tend to have very strange ideas of their slightly darker brothers and sisters.  

http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/index.html

ok..that's super funny too

It's also sort of disturbing how much is really true on both sites.

[dweez]

That site is hilarious.  Reading through some of the "letters", it's hard to tell if the letters were faked or not.

[Skadi]

That site is hilarious.  Reading through some of the "letters", it's hard to tell if the letters were faked or not.

Get out! I know, right?  One of them reminded me of one time I was at a neighborhood 'gentrification' meeting. A professor totally had her arse handed to her when she made a really lame comment. A woman from the neighborhood stood up and slapped her down with a pleasant but firm "oh honey you just don't understand". I could see the professor's wheels and molars grinding like mad to spit out something nasty back. Or, plead that she had the stats and research to back her up... I can see her now penning a letter about how white academics are just massiviely undervalued and misunderstood..hehe..

The hair comments are super funny too.

And I got my feelings hurt when I read the Vespa stuff. I was like.. 'hey, I like Vespas!..I'm not that white... Am I?'

[Skadi]

lol..it just gets worse.. I am a cliche incarnate

If you see a white woman and you are trying to figure out whether she is liked or just merely tolerated by white people, the best thing you can do is get a quick look at her haircut. It is a known fact that white people love women who wear their hair with bangs that hang straight down.

Many people associate this type of haircut with children and people looking for the most efficient way to get hair out of their eyes. But for white people, this simple haircut makes a bold declaration by saying that the wearer is artistic, deep, and has probably dated a guy in a band you like.

  *runs back to count how many stereotypes I fit from the list*

[jacktheripper305]

lol..it just gets worse.. I am a cliche incarnate

If you see a white woman and you are trying to figure out whether she is liked or just merely tolerated by white people, the best thing you can do is get a quick look at her haircut. It is a known fact that white people love women who wear their hair with bangs that hang straight down.

Many people associate this type of haircut with children and people looking for the most efficient way to get hair out of their eyes. But for white people, this simple haircut makes a bold declaration by saying that the wearer is artistic, deep, and has probably dated a guy in a band you like.

  *runs back to count how many stereotypes I fit from the list*

I in fact do like this haircut. I like bangs in general, although I don't think it makes anyone look deep, artistic, etc. I guess that shows how white I am 

I'm surprised no one brought up the (un)fair use stereotypes yet.
Begin!

[Skadi]

I in fact do like this haircut. I like bangs in general, although I don't think it makes anyone look deep, artistic, etc. I guess that shows how white I am 

Well, mine are the worst sort that they're talking about. They're long and waifish and always overgrown so it looks like I'm trying to be cute/special on purpose, which I'm not. But I can see looking at the list how white I am. Or, at least how ordinary I really am. Even things like the notebooks..and the vespas.. and being 'into' another country.. the Bob Marley dig.. lots of it is pretty spot on.

And yeah.. the hair stuff on both those sites is funny. Maybe you'd have to be a girl to get it deeper. And i went to a pretty ghetto school so I'd get flipped crud all the time even though I wasn't looking for it. And lots of times it was because of my hair. When I get nervous or shy I play with my hair.. or do other things like pace.. or say 'ummm'.. all the typical shy awkward stuff... So, one time in high school I was on live tv, and was singled out to get the bulk of the interview attention.. and I guess I fiddled with my hair lots since I was nervous. But at school the next day I'd heard a bunch of girls were dissing me and saying I was snobby because I'd none hair flips on tv ..what? o_O heh.. more like..I'd messed with my hair to keep from barfing in front of the camera >_<

And I hear other white girls talk all the time about how cool black girls hair is. Just last week I ran into a friend of mine who I hadn't seen in a couple of weeks, and she had her hair tinted red and braided all over for summer. She looked so cool, somthing I never could pull off.. which is exactly what I was thinking when I saw her Which made this super funny -

Sally loves to touch my hair! She always asks me how I got my hair to do this. That makes me feel special. Like I have magical powers!

I in fact do like this haircut. I like bangs in general, although I don't think it makes anyone look deep, artistic, etc. I guess that shows how white I am 

I'm surprised no one brought up the (un)fair use stereotypes yet.
Begin!

I think that's why it's funny. It's so true it makes us uncomfortable. I know I do stuff accidentally al the time. A couple of years ago I was in a store and I was talking to a little boy who was super funny and smart. Then I looked to his mom and told her the same... it was just a truly felt compliment. But she looked at me like I'd slapped her. Then last year it dawned on me that she must have thought I was doing the 'He's so well spoken. I mean he really speaks so well! ..Chris Rock thing'. heh.. after I made that connection, that whole scenaio made complete sense And that wasnt how I'd meant it at all. So, no matter how non biased we think we are.. sometims we just do things, or are things without thinking.

[dweez]

And sometimes things caucasians say/do are just taken the wrong way as your comment above seemed completely innocent.  It seems to me someone would have to go out of their way to interpret it as a "you're so well spoken" type of comment.

[Skadi]

And sometimes things caucasians say/do are just taken the wrong way as your comment above seemed completely innocent.  It seems to me someone would have to go out of their way to interpret it as a "you're so well spoken" type of comment.

nah...she definitely wanted to slap me And now that I look back on it, it could be taken that way. It's easy I suppose to build up attitudes without ever realizing it. Or, go the opposite way to prove you're not one way.. and that's proving something in itself. It's all sort of a slippery slope thing.

[Skadi]

And i went to a pretty ghetto school so I'd get flipped crud all the time even though I wasn't looking for it.

^ this term came up in a talk I was having with a group of friends last night. We were talking about people we knew who died before they ever got out of high school. Also how each death was treated by others, or reacted to... Any way.. it dawned on me that the way I use 'ghetto' doesn't have anything to do with race. When we say ghetto around where I live it means an area that's run down, hard hit, disenfranchised.. basically lacking. And even the connotation itself isn't so much negative..it's more of a short-cut way to get a feeling for an area across. But..yeah.. slang terms don't really work unless the people you're conversing with know you, and speak the same terms. So something simple like how I use the word ghetto can come across as misunderstood when there's a feeling of racial tension in a moment. So..yep.. anytime I've ever been flipped crud, it's been my someone of my own race. Sometimes in ghetto areas and circumstances.. but yep, ghetto is a place, and state of mind, and has nothing to do with race. So..see..that's how misunderstandings can happen.

[hmed2390]

but yep, ghetto is a place, and state of mind, and has nothing to do with race.

That's how I have always used it and understood it. I didn't think it had anything to do with race. 

[Skadi]

That's how I have always used it and understood it. I didn't think it had anything to do with race. 

heh..good.. just checking to see that I hadn't made an egregious faux pas ..especially on the very thread it would have been stupidest to do that

[hmed2390]

[smokester]

^ this term came up in a talk I was having with a group of friends last night. We were talking about people we knew who died before they ever got out of high school. Also how each death was treated by others, or reacted to... Any way.. it dawned on me that the way I use 'ghetto' doesn't have anything to do with race. When we say ghetto around where I live it means an area that's run down, hard hit, disenfranchised.. basically lacking. And even the connotation itself isn't so much negative..it's more of a short-cut way to get a feeling for an area across. But..yeah.. slang terms don't really work unless the people you're conversing with know you, and speak the same terms. So something simple like how I use the word ghetto can come across as misunderstood when there's a feeling of racial tension in a moment. So..yep.. anytime I've ever been flipped crud, it's been my someone of my own race. Sometimes in ghetto areas and circumstances.. but yep, ghetto is a place, and state of mind, and has nothing to do with race. So..see..that's how misunderstandings can happen.

While the word "ghetto" has nothing to do with race, it is however, no coincidence..

The sole good thing to come out of the property price explosion, was that otherwise run down areas were suddenly deemed "cosmopolitan" and subsequently invested in.  I wonder what east London will look like to the world when we host the Olympics? as a few years ago that was the blot on London's landscape.. no wait.. it still is a shitehole.

[Skadi]

While the word "ghetto" has nothing to do with race, it is however, no coincidence..

The sole good thing to come out of the property price explosion, was that otherwise run down areas were suddenly deemed "cosmopolitan" and subsequently invested in.  I wonder what east London will look like to the world when we host the Olympics? as a few years ago that was the blot on London's landscape.. no wait.. it still is a shitehole.

^ I'm always conflicted about that whole scenario. It seems like there'd be a way to manage it properly.. but, it never seems to work out that way. Usually all it manages is for huge numbers of people to be pushed out, and not enjoy their own neighborhood's improvements. It's especially hard in states in the US without good public transportation. Mountain states that are also big tourist attractions the residents get hit hard. They end up having to move so far out to find an affordable place to live, that they have commute to work for close to an hour. Which is an especially huge pain in the bootie in winter with chains on your tires and shut down interstates.

I hate the idea of non well thought out sprawl, so taking advantage of what's already in place makes sense. But.. urban areas that are redone only to be take over by new people that can afford the new look?.. that stinks too.

[hmed2390]

Yeah, that's tough.   

*is grateful for all that he has*

[Skadi]

I was a TV commercial yesterday that was soooo white. I'd sworn to myself I'd remember it today and look for a clip to post...but I can't remember    Hopefully it will come to me.

[Robin-Graves]

^ I'm always conflicted about that whole scenario. It seems like there'd be a way to manage it properly.. but, it never seems to work out that way. Usually all it manages is for huge numbers of people to be pushed out, and not enjoy their own neighborhood's improvements. It's especially hard in states in the US without good public transportation. Mountain states that are also big tourist attractions the residents get hit hard. They end up having to move so far out to find an affordable place to live, that they have commute to work for close to an hour. Which is an especially huge pain in the bootie in winter with chains on your tires and shut down interstates.

I hate the idea of non well thought out sprawl, so taking advantage of what's already in place makes sense. But.. urban areas that are redone only to be take over by new people that can afford the new look?.. that stinks too.

In Southeastern Oklahoma and Western Arkansas its hard.
We have alot ofpeoplerunning there from California and buying up alot of cheapproperty because the cost of living is so low ( my parents ought a just built two story home on 2.47 acers for under 110,000 dollars)
 They then attempt to rent theseplaces for anywhere from 600 to 1100 a month.
When no one can afford it  average wages are only 8 bucks an hour) they throw a fit, refuse to fix anything and tell people that " where we come from this is a deal!".
My response is usualy " Dorathy,, your not in Kansas anymore".
They cant understand that people there dont make alot ofmoney, hence the cost ofliving is really low.
 A land developer from New jesy just lost a buttload on a residential spread he had built because he thought he could charge the same amount as he could at home.
 Stupid peopleshouldnt be alowed to buy property like that.
 There are these idiots from Florida that bought 5 acres of rocky woodland property in Poteau Okklahoma for about a thousand an acer and want to sell it all for 100,000 thousand dollars and wonder why it hasnt even had a nibble in the past five years.
 You can buy prime acreage for 1500 an acre in that area .
 Nother bought three apartment complexes , moved everyone out under the assumption that he was going to buldoze them down and rebuild.
All he did was slap somepaint on the places and is now trying to rent them for 1100 amonth for a two bedroom.
You can buy a house there and pay less than 400 a month forpayments.And he wonders why he cant get tennents there.