Diasfora

General Category => Chaos => Topic started by: Robin-Graves on February 22, 2009, 09:48:06 PM

Title: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 22, 2009, 09:48:06 PM
There was once a dog named Biddy.
He wasnothing special,,just a world traveler,somewhat herpo,and suffered from a condition that made him be gifted with no less than three testicles.
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 22, 2009, 09:58:18 PM
Or so the doctors thought whenever they started to physically examine his scrotum....  However, the first time  one did, he discovered
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 22, 2009, 10:50:47 PM
That there were only two,,but the doctor lost his license later because he was lacking in math skills.
SO the mystery of his third testicle remaind.
 Theonly way to succesfully answer whether it was real or not was to ask Biddy's mom,,Daisy.
This would be a little hard since she was now in rehab ( again) for addiction to the horrid substance known as Vegimite.
ANyway,,,on with the story,,,,,,
 Biddy the dog,,Biddy the hero, Biddy the worldtraveler, sat on a mountain in Tebet contemplating the sound of a whisper,,when suddenly,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 23, 2009, 06:01:16 AM
it occurred to him what one hand clapping sounded like! Excited by this discovery, he needed to tell people, he needed to let them know that everything they understood regarding philosophy was wrong, and that they all needed
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 23, 2009, 01:03:25 PM
get a grip and worry about important things,like skinning fish, where to get a good steak,and mostofall,,a good bottle of bozze and a high dollar hooker at a discount price.
 Suddenly,,out of nowhere, this midgit frenchman comes waddling his way up the mountain ( using the convenient midgit trail) yelling at the top of his lungs.
Of course,not finding french an important language,,Biddy,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 23, 2009, 03:53:18 PM
a magic trick.  How to make a midget disappear!  And with that he drop kicked the midget into a crevasse that as far as biddy cared, had no bottom...  Now off to find the high hooker...  He decided that Nepal would be the best place to find this given the way the slave market was looking...  He noticed some pretty low sales as he passed on his way into the mountains....  YES, Nepal...  He always wondered why they didn't spell it CAT-MAN-DO, but it was not on his top 10 questions when he meandered into the city,  Instead.....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 23, 2009, 06:50:08 PM
he walked into wal-mart and bought a bike, it had been a while since he last had an intense workout so he.....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 23, 2009, 07:09:55 PM
But as he opened the front door, he saw a big , fat, ugly, disgusting......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 23, 2009, 08:37:56 PM
vegitmite smelling madam.
"Mom!" he exclaimed " your broke out of rehab again!".
 Biddy ran upand hugged her tightly as she,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 23, 2009, 09:34:21 PM
 :D :D :D

.....smacked him in the tenders with the might of a mammoth.....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: dweez on February 23, 2009, 09:40:31 PM
gerbil that she had been keeping as a secret present for Biddy's "single" uncle.  He was like "WTF biatch.  I was gonna give you some love.  Instead I'm gonna..."
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 23, 2009, 09:42:01 PM
..smack dat ass like they ain't a tommorow....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: dweez on February 23, 2009, 10:33:10 PM
But then Bibby realizes he's talking about his mom (ugh hmed) and decides to go over to the "Confess your sin thread" and says "Bless me father for I have sinned.  I have..."
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 23, 2009, 10:43:09 PM
...... lol'd like an idiot while committing a terrible act, and I deserve to be smacked on the head with a dead rubber chicken(forgot it was his mom,  :-X ).....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: dweez on February 23, 2009, 10:44:27 PM
And the father said "You should be condemned to an eternity of burning fire and brimstone...but we have a special running this week so instead you...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 23, 2009, 10:46:17 PM
....get to eat doughnuts while watching dweez and J cuddle up in the chaos board room.....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 24, 2009, 04:12:41 AM
untill they explode from raging hormones.
 As we all know,,Biddy being the world traveling vetran of many horrible scenes of debauchery,,ran like hell screaming like a banshee.
 He ran untill he saw a sign saying Welcome To ,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 24, 2009, 08:16:44 AM
.....But as he approached the exit he was jumped by a swarm of giant monkeys and struggled to keep consciousness as he fought his way kicking and screaming through the group.Suddenly, something caught his eye...........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 24, 2009, 12:27:09 PM
It was a naked monkey bum!  Knowing that NOTHING is sacred in this world, and absolutely nothing WHATSOEVER is TABOO, He immediately
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 24, 2009, 06:29:12 PM
.....ran face first into that monkey ass, and was repelled 50 feet into the wall adjacent,as he got up bruised and sore.......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 24, 2009, 06:35:08 PM
started flying like a monkey with wings. He soared and soared, higher and higher, until his head bumped into something furry. As he looked up.....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 25, 2009, 01:18:32 AM
something horrible!
Something so unmentionable that only the sickest most twistedpeople with no hope of recovery only whisper in dark rooms  while absolutley alone.
It was a Yodeling Yak from Howandaland being suspended from a hot air ballon being piloted by a barbarian called Bruce the Hoon!
 Bruce looked down and said,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 25, 2009, 11:20:51 AM
Welcome aboard, Biddy, while you ARE a bit late, I brought some vaseline for you...  When last we met you remember I was in to whips, chains and leather...  However, NOW I am a yodeling yak salesman! You gave me the idea when
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 25, 2009, 01:18:51 PM
you were in Tibet and your mother was gargling vegemite to thetune ofYodeling Andy Hiyafetz.
 Biddy didnt remember this one bit.
 The Yodeling Yak though,,seemed to remember,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 26, 2009, 12:26:35 PM
The feel of Biddy and the term "vegemite" once uttered triggered memories of
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 26, 2009, 01:42:33 PM
the place where they show horrible reruns of programming on the HG network.
 And the distinctive smell of Vegemite when his father used to get drunk and whip him with old noodles on saturday nights when the lights were out and the power was off.
 Not that it was a bad family,,,but they worshiped George Carlin as the Mesiah.
Anyway,,Bruce the Hoon was on a trek accross the world to the small Klatchian town called Baddass for the anual " badd attitude mooning and flipping off convention".
 He was a charter member of the Society for the Preservation and Progression of Perversion,Sleaze, and Decadence.
 This society was actualy started by,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on February 26, 2009, 11:25:48 PM
Tom cruise, while in his quest for scientology-world domination........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: davidsolomon83 on February 26, 2009, 11:37:20 PM
ended doing part time zombie mimes at the McDonalds, while dressed as that funny man redhead, he was snatched by two drunk hillbillies, they kept calling him "Boy", to which his reply was always.............
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 27, 2009, 05:54:56 AM
You got a PURDY MOUTH!  actually, the powers that be WANTED people to believe that Tom Cruise was the founder, but the REAL and secret founder , however, was Prescott Bush...  The idea just came out at a Skull and Bones meeting.

One night they were playing naked twister (the fact that there were no women never stopped them) and the SPPPSD was just the natural progress from what they did on that mat that night when they 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: knownassociate on February 27, 2009, 06:59:50 AM
decided what their newest members initiation trials would be. Perhaps, KFL's brain? Nah, already done...Sitting Bulls remains to prevent him from entering the 'happy hunting grounds'? Nah, already done...Then Biddy had an idea, an idea as wicked as it was genius. If caught the repercussion would change all that is known, including them. Lives would be lost, shocked nations would crumble. He looked around, put out all but one candle, finger to his lips. "Shhhhhhh" he leaned in and whispered
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: davidsolomon83 on February 27, 2009, 08:22:19 PM
DOH ! i just forgot the brightest most darnestly intelligent idea that any egg head ever came up with, now, while thinking it over, he heard a familiar crackling sound, and he said to himself: " wait a minute! i know what that is! why, it is"......................
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 27, 2009, 09:11:16 PM
George Herbert Walker Bush having a crappy idea about running for the presidency.
This led him to giggling. And then,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 27, 2009, 09:54:44 PM
he decided to rub some Vegemite anal lube on his
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: davidsolomon83 on February 27, 2009, 10:05:08 PM
well, ofcourse on his hot-dog  ::), the one that he'd ordered online specially from "san-francisco" , why? cuz, its good for DIGESTION, helps it pass through the guts NICELY  :-X  :), but little did he know that somebody had played with him, for they had put such a nasty chilly sauce on it, not even the Mariachis of Guada La Hara could stand that, and so just after a few minutes he felt that typical rumbling mumbling, that uneasy feeling.............
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on February 28, 2009, 01:50:20 AM
of the plumbing being maltreated.
 Suddenly,,water lines burst all over the building!
The group looked at Biddy and in one voice exclaimed,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on February 28, 2009, 01:39:53 PM
With that Biddy passed some SERIOUS GAS, and the smell of Vegemite permeated the Steel, cracked the concrete and
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: davidsolomon83 on February 28, 2009, 02:15:03 PM
hearkened a rampage unthought of, the house was coming down in one big debacle, there was so little time.........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 01, 2009, 01:28:48 AM
 ,,,,that they all just stood there,hoping for the best.
 The walls crumbled,,the concrete disintegrated, the Harbinger Of Hell melted, nose hairs singed!
 Suddenly,,Bruce The Hoon appeared and snapped up Biddy in his mighty arms and ran out of the crumbling building.
 " hmph mhpmhp mmmph " said Bruce through the gas mask he was wearing.
 Biddy didnt care what was said,all he lnew is that he has to see a doctor about what he just did,,he knew it was normal.
 And one thing that neither Bruce orBiddy knew,was that G W Bush was holding onto a random strap ofleather on Bruce's armor and being dragged to saftety also.
If either Bruce or Biddy has known this,, they would have gladly ran back into the maeltrom.
 Anyway,,,the only thing going through G W 's mind was,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: knownassociate on March 01, 2009, 07:03:37 PM
ouch   ooch   ouch    ooch     ouch   oooch   ouch. and as usual, the rest of his mind lay quiet, undisturbed by thoughts...except for identifying the sensation of the leather strap slowly slipping from his sweaty palms...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 02, 2009, 05:08:32 AM
There was only one way to save himself!  There was a failsafe system created for just such a happening.  All one had to do to activate the FailSafe was to pronounce the word "Nuclear" correctly!

Having been Yale AND Harvard Educated, this should have presented no problem whatsoever
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 02, 2009, 06:32:12 PM
"N-U-C-U-L-A-R!!!"

Riiiiiiiiip!  Suddenly the whole space-time thingamabob is torn asunder.  Everybody present is momentarily metamorphosed into balletic baboons donning pink frilly fluorescent tutus.  "Oh no not again!" screams Biddy.  But it's too late.  Suddenly a vast vortex appears before him and sucks him up like an ant having a particularly bad Monday morning being driven up the snout of a rather hungry aardvark.  "Mummy!" cries Biddy, but of course there...   
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 02, 2009, 06:42:57 PM
Was no reply....  Biddy's mum, of course was at the  Frizzy, Farout, kinky, perverted, Sex Symposium, Sponsored by Merck' sexual aids...  However, there WAS, actually an answer to his plea...... 

It was none other than
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 02, 2009, 07:14:10 PM
Biddy....

Somehow, probably by means of the vortex and all the space-time malarky going on, Biddy had been whisked off to 10 years earlier.  So now he is confronted by a spotty oink; himself, albeit 10 years younger. 

Without further ado, Biddy did what Biddy does best.  He took advantage of himself and...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 03, 2009, 01:50:20 AM
bummed enough money to go to the nudie bar and take a trip to the International House of Mutant Potatoes.
 Biddy sat at the table trying to warn himself about the futurewhen suddenly their order arived.
Biddy then satthere wondering howto eat a mutant potatoe with 10,000 eyes.
He never could eat when someone is watching him.
 Anyway,,,he decided to tell his ten year younger self,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 03, 2009, 06:18:18 AM
he needed to get off of the stick, and refine his shtick!  It was time to take over this place, break his mum out and 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 03, 2009, 06:44:03 AM
Though it should be said that the fact that said crossdressers lacked the standard plumbing options he was looking for, Biddy thought SEX WAS SEX, and did it anyway!  Which, of course, was how he became interested in wearing the lacy gold thongs in the first place (either with or without Rhinestones)  And NO, nobody wants to imagine this...

Ahhhhh  Good times...  Memories triggered a course of action!  Biddy knew EXACTLY what to do now!!  He
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 03, 2009, 01:47:24 PM
and then the most amazing thing happened!  The midget from before showed up!!  Somehow he managed to climb out of the crevasse and there he was standing in front of the biddys..  Not sure exactly what to do next nobody did anything UNTIL
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 03, 2009, 02:40:44 PM
the younger Biddy broke wind.  All eyes were now on the spotty oink Biddy.  Every nose present was turned away in revolted disgust.  Silence...

<At this point the camera pans in on a rolling tumbleweed as it makes its way across an abandoned landscape>
 

"Soooo, hmm, what happened in the year 2000 then, does the y2k computer bug bring about an end to civilisation as we know it?" asked the spotty oink Biddy.

Older Biddy was just about to answer this line of enquiry from his younger self when all of a sudden out of nowhere...   
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 03, 2009, 11:11:06 PM
 A box of vegimite!!!!
"Mom must be close!" thought Biddy, since she can smell the stuff ten miles away.
No amount of rehab can break her addictions to sex,vegimite,bad tv,spandex, and cheap booz.
 Maybe it cured herof her addiction toputting small rodents named Oscar into un named crevaces of herbody,,but no one had the curage to ask,much lesscheck.
Suddenly , this large black shape loomed in the horizen,,it was,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 04, 2009, 06:47:34 AM
a durigible shaped like Biddy's Mum's favorite sex toy!  it drifted casually before settling down into the
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 04, 2009, 01:10:34 PM
inside of "BJ Ray" Johnson's left thigh and thereby splattering Johnson's one remaining testicle. 

As Johnson lay there in a contorted prostrate position, breathing his last few remaining breaths, coughing up blood and anathemising everything that breathed in the universe and beyond, the rest of the party stared in absolute horror at the diabolical object that had suddenly encroached into the path of their pitiable existence. 

"What the golly is that?" asked the spotty oink Biddy. 
"Ugh, well a little after your time." replied older Biddy.  "It's one of our mother's sex toys; she must be close, and can you smell the miasmic omnipresence of Vegemite?  She's close!  Very close!!"

So dear reader.  Can it be? Biddy's mum here?  It couldn't be.  Surely not, and so on.  Little did they realise that the monolithic sex toy was in fact a gargantuan trojan dildo.  Suddenly, from inside the toy they heard the sound of...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 05:03:16 PM
Biddy broke out his trusty Swiss Army Knife with the convenient folding chainsaw accessory ( not to mention the toolto find the intrinsic truth in others statements, the meaning of life and the lost chapters od Beningers " Sex with the mentaly insane") and rushed to the scene!
 As he started cutting a passage out of the giant apliance,,suddenly he saw written in small letering,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 04, 2009, 06:13:19 PM
"CAUTION! Make sure appliance is well lubricated prior to use"

"Well duh!" Said older Biddy.
 
Younger Biddy nodded with agreement and said, "Haha, who on earth would image that anyone would have such temerity and a lack of acuity not to lubricate oneself up to the elbow before using that thing, especially if using it up the derriere haha."  Biddy's facade suddenly went blank, a peculiar expression came over his entire face.  He said "Very strange, an odd feeling has come over me; a weird feeling of sanguinity has suddenly permeated my entire being; I think everything is going to be all right!!"

Older Biddy looked at his younger self in dismay and asked "Young Biddy, you haven't been looking at the 'Word of the Day' on the forum have you?"

Young Biddy blushed a bright sanguine colour, and quickly picked up the Swiss army knife and continued with the sawing.  The noise in the massive anal dildo was getting loader and more frantic, if they didn't open it soon it...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 09:01:20 PM
a sex toy anymore,,but a giant coffin.
 While sawing away,a sudden idea hit,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 09, 2009, 07:19:48 AM
to
be
continued,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 09, 2009, 09:59:35 AM
the vibrations in the giant coffin, changed from the giant anal probe  (pronounced A-nol Pro-bay) were rattling the Biddy's skulls... 

Soon there would be issues, both knew this yet the sawing continued...  There had to be some way to
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 10, 2009, 12:47:41 PM
Meanwhile,,a thousand miles away, a small pixie named Marve waswalkingalong,minding his own businesswhen suddenly,a large blue glowing cow from the planet plabulbla ( pronounced DUH!) appeared out of nowhere.
 Marvelooked at it and thought " WOW! Look at that bundle of steaks!"
 The alien cow said toMarve" Behold and bein terror of ,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 11, 2009, 12:46:23 PM
The more discerning reader will of course ascertain that the 'bundle of steaks' aka 'large blue glowing cow' was in fact Marnio, the big cheese of the League of Mongo (LoM - pronounced xyzthphly). 

Marnio quickly wiped out the annoying cadaverous pixie thingy by letting rip a gigantic toxic fart of mammoth bovine proportions.  Marnio rubbed its legs together in malicious satisfaction and curled its lips up into a wicked cow smile.  Donning its supercow cape, it then flew into the heavens towards the planet where Biddy et al where still frantically sawing at the giant anal probe (pronounced A-nol Pro-bay).

Travelling at twice the speed of light and almost seven times the speed of cow fart,  Mongo would soon reach Biddy et al and...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 11, 2009, 07:14:38 PM
exact his bovine revenge.
 Why it was revenge was still unknown,since Biddy et al did not even know that Marnio even existed.
 Biddy and company ,still sawing a hole into the giant anal probe , sudenly discovered a hatch for the giant batteries.
Opening the hatch,and removing the bateries,they discovered the source of the cries for help. It was a gayly dressed dwarf .
 The dwarf hopped out, and handed them a business card.
The card said: Casanunda,,,Famouse Lover,Highwayman,and Outrageous Liar.
 Biddy looked at the card and asked if this was true,and Casanunda replied " Ask your mother".
 Suddenly,,there was a bovine sized thunderclap as a blue cow entered the planets atmosphere at 7 timesthe speedof acaw fart. ( please excuseme,imlaughing myself insane).
 Biddy looked upand said,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 11, 2009, 08:27:28 PM
It's a Bird...  It's a flying Anal Probe (pronounced A-nol Pro-bay) NO, WAIT!! It is a GLOWING BLUE RADIOACTIVE COW!!!

Meanwhile, Mongo noticed something behind Biddy... A gigantic bowl of Candy, and as everyone knows..

MONGO LIKE CANDY!

Mongo
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 11, 2009, 08:48:25 PM
dove into the bowl of candy!
 But,,it turned out to beatrap meant for Biddy.
The bowl of candy ensnared poorMongo, and then vanished, appearing on the planet DUH!
 Mongo looked around and saw all the,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 12, 2009, 02:00:24 AM
things in the universe that made it want to say MOOO: most noticeably the lack of any grass whatsoever, and, to add insult to injury, not one fencepost on which to scratch and relieve its itchy tits should the need arise.  Mongo was not happy. Mongo was raging. Then Mongo looked down.  Mongo was wearing odd socks.   "Duh!!" said Mongo

Mongo then asked itself why one minute its name had been Marnio, and then the next second Mongo?  The glowing blue radioactive cow suddenly realised that someone out there - perhaps a malefic and omnipotent Mephistopheles - was playing some kind of cruel joke.  And what were those blazing saddles doing on the horizon? 

Damn it thought Mongo (bovine previously known as Marnio) I'll have to... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 12, 2009, 12:35:36 PM
put up with another damned Mel Brooks movie!
Well this SUCKS! thought Marnio/Mongo the Cow.
 "Well, still got my trusty Swiss Army Knife with the newand improved Temporal Anomoly Creater feature"
 Marnio/Mongo activated his Temporal Anomoly Creater and walked through, reapearing just seconds before he as trapped in the candy trap. and most significantly before he was called Mongo.
 On with the Master Plan ,,,Revenge on Biddy et al.

It was time to,,,,,
exact his bovine revenge.
 Why it was revenge was still unknown,since Biddy et al did not even know that Marnio even existed.
 Biddy and company ,still sawing a hole into the giant anal probe , sudenly discovered a hatch for the giant batteries.
Opening the hatch,and removing the bateries,they discovered the source of the cries for help. It was a gayly dressed dwarf .
 The dwarf hopped out, and handed them a business card.
The card said: Casanunda,,,Famouse Lover,Highwayman,and Outrageous Liar.
 Biddy looked at the card and asked if this was true,and Casanunda replied " Ask your mother".
 Suddenly,,there was a bovine sized thunderclap as a blue cow entered the planets atmosphere at 7 timesthe speedof acaw fart. ( please excuseme,imlaughing myself insane).
 Biddy looked upand said,,,,,,,

 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 12, 2009, 07:19:05 PM
witness the most peculiar sequence of events since that infamous half-wit of a malicious monkey dodged that flying shoe. 

<The camera pans out a bit so we can see all the central characters in one shot.  There is Mongo (pronounced Marnio), the glowing blue radioactive cow; the two Biddys, the younger one from this era, and the older one who has been sucked from the future into this time; and finally the mysterious Dwarf, Casanunda, who has enigmatically arrived on the scene after being violently extracted from a Terry Pratchett Discworld adventure and rescued from a giant anal probe(pronounced A-nol Pro-bay)> 


"You!!!!" said the cow.
"Did he say 'You' or 'Moo'?" asked older Biddy.
"I think he said shoe" said the Casanunda.
"Silence!!" said the Cow.  "You!!  You!!  You Biddy are going to die!!!"

With this Mongo (pronounced Marnio) let rip the most vicious fart ever witnessed by man, beast or dwarf.  Young Biddy sniffed a bit, turned the pallor of a rotting lemon and instantly died. 

"Oh wtf!!" said the remaining Biddy, "why'd you do that for?"
"Because" said the cow, "your terrible family ate my aunt, grandmother, sister and mother.  Not to mention stealing our milk and tipping us over when we were asleep; now I'm going to kill you too muhahahahahaha"

Mongo strained; ready to unleash another pyrotechnical masterpiece.  Alas, just before co2 could make egress out of anus, Casanunda stick his fork into the cow and began making some delicious burgers. 

But then, all of a sudden, the giant anal probe(pronounced A-nol Pro-bay) started to move again and...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 13, 2009, 12:04:32 PM
Knocked over the grill destroying at least half of the yummy Mongo (pronounced Marnio) burgers....

However, this was actually a really good thing, because there was some sort of Quantum doorway to an alternate reality..  It went PRECISELY to where one of the largest of Mongo's Farts happened to be lingering.   

Before the gas could kill anyone, the fire, from the grill ignited it and blasted the alternate dimension to oblivion!  What was fascinating was that nobody knew or cared about the loss of the Ikxissas race which managed to figure out the correct formula for ultimate sexual gratification, but hey If anyone else knew that, there would be
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 13, 2009, 06:06:01 PM
a stampede of pubic crabs demanding the vote, setting up unions and the inevitable genocide of trillions upon trillions of innocent merkins that populate the multiverse and beyond. 

Would you like to see this happen? 

Exactly.  So anyway, back to the story.  At the exact moment the entire Ikxissas race was kissing their asses and their pet pubic crabs au revoir, Biddy...   
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 13, 2009, 09:42:04 PM
looked at all the carnage around him,,all the trouble that had been caused just because of his life.
 Yes,,a sad moment for our hero.
Then,,an idea hit him like a greasy ball peen hammer!
Biddy decided to,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 15, 2009, 04:30:28 AM
Pray.  Biddy flopped onto his haggard and weary knees, closed his eyes, clasped his hands together and began his reflective moment of supplication.
 
"Dear God.  Help me please.  Sometimes I feel like I'm just a figment of my own imagination.  Other times I feel like I am merely just some sort of muppet in a story who is suspended on the end of some strings; my wires being pulled by a depraved monster, and me being made to dance and flop about for cheap laughs and titillation.  So God, if you can hear my plea, please give me a sign, any sign!, and I promise that I will - from this day on - be a better person.  Amen.  P.S Thanks for the burgers, they tasted wicked!" 

Thereupon there was... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 17, 2009, 01:51:02 PM
THUNDEROUS "drip" sound way off in the distance...  It turned out that there were multiple DEPRAVED monsters keen on cheap laughs and titillation.  Making Biddy dance and flop about was just an easy way to stop thinking about the petty annoyances of various
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 17, 2009, 05:14:56 PM
daily routines.
 There was a monster on two wheels known as CeeZee who was so fast,even the winds were jealous.
 There was one known as Sophacles, who was a Lord of insanity!
And the brute known to the spinning dirvishes of Howandaland as The Grave One, who would chalenge mere mortals to trials of bare handed combat!
 In the background were many more that pulled his strings during the past.
And standing above all of them,,the creater of this charade,the onewho is the creater of all Biddys sarrows, it was the one and only,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 17, 2009, 07:03:47 PM
Bob.  Bob was a piece of sweetcorn unexpectedly discovered in the faecal matter of a clogged-up orangutan.  Bob ruled over CeeZEE, Sophocles, The Grave One, and all the rest with a brutal iron fist.  It then comes to no surprise when it is discovered that...   
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 17, 2009, 07:35:36 PM
had a crappy outlook on things.
Bob was angry.Bob was vicious. Bob was most foul!
He wanted nothing more than to make someones life as horrible as his.
I mean,whats more horrid than becoming a sentient being while in a constipated ape?
 Bob had this plan,and this plan wasnt world domination,it wasnt slavery of the human race,it wasnt even eliminating all life.
It was,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 17, 2009, 08:36:34 PM
to be the puppet master of the puppet master monsters! <the evil laughing was caught as some mucus like slime invaded his airways causing Bob to Choke> 

Now people would wonder how a being like Bob could do such things...  I mean with the invention of the microwave Oven...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 17, 2009, 09:17:16 PM
the wheel, the Sinclair C5 and the flushing toilet, well... well, it just makes you ask why?  Why indeed...

To answer this question we have to take a brief look at Bob's early life as a piece of sweetcorn that has just been freshly squeezed out of an orangutan's flaming anus. 

Bob had got frisky, and a burning desire to shag the half digested banana that sat festering alongside him overtook him. The banana callously spurned Bob's clumsy advances.  Consequently, this insensitive rebuff psychologically scared Bob for life and it is the very reason why... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 17, 2009, 09:24:31 PM
Bob had a feeling of self loathing. This causedhimto hate everything else,andwant to make things hate thierown lives. RE Biddy.
 It wasnt that Biddy did anything wrong,or even thought bad thoughts.
He just didnt like Biddy,and decided to practice his arts by making Biddy have the most disturbing life in the universe.
This in itself gave Bob plenty of oportunity to mastermind plots within plots and influence events just things happened just right.
All except this,,this was unforseen. This is something Bob had no control over.
This was a major shock to Bob's system. How dare a mere mortal,, a DOG of all things,change his mechanations?
 The whole time all the horrors of the abyss were appearing ,and Bob roiledin hisown impotent anger,Biddy just,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 17, 2009, 10:47:32 PM
was completely oblivious to it all...  Pretty much like he was oblivious to everything given more than a few seconds of lagg time.... His ADD would not prevent Biddy, however from
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 17, 2009, 11:19:50 PM
noticing that Casanunda had scoffed down all the Mongo burgers and was now heartily gnawing on a hoof.

Biddy was still hungry.  Annoyed that all the mongo burgers had been eaten by the greedy dwarf, he began to look for his last remaining can of sweetcorn in his backpack; however,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 18, 2009, 01:27:51 AM
he had no can opener,,and Bob looked so satisfying.
In a fit of hunger and rage ( much like something out of a low budget horror movie just out at your local Walmart) Biddy lunged and FEASTed on Bob,,chewing with relish.
 This caused alot of concerned looks from the puppetmasters,since Bob came from a constipated ape.
 They violently,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 18, 2009, 05:31:51 AM
tossed about ideas on how to make this simply not happen, and in reality, the monster puppet masters could do pretty much anything at all given the nature of the way things were, however, they were too wrapped up in watching the corny spectacle, that they had no interest in doing anything about it..  instead, the HUGE NUMBER of members making up monstrous crowd reading this tragedy (of greek proportions) saw that this particular sub plot was
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 18, 2009, 11:01:33 AM
akin to a maze in a wheat field; in other words, a labyrinthian pastiche of convoluted subplots within subplots, so that not even the most powerful echelons of the monster puppet masters could make heads or tails of it all, let alone intervene.  Which, paradoxically, explains the sudden and unexpected materialisation of an infinite number of monkeys banging away at an infinite number of typewriters and...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 18, 2009, 01:37:46 PM
for some reason,causing a temporal shift of one million years, causing one young monkey named Phill to jump up and yell "ook!".
 He was waving a large pile of type written paper.
Upon the inspection of which ,was not the entire collection of Shakespere like once stated by some eggheaded theorist,but the entire collection of Monty Pythons Flying Circus instead.
 This not only proved the saying incorect,but also proved,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 18, 2009, 01:43:01 PM
The reality of what happened next

"N-U-C-U-L-A-R!!!"

An echo from sub plot past resurfaced once again, and the hole ripped into the space time thingamabob began to look almost as big as Biddy's Mom's vagina!
  
Of course monkey number 458883765947856945589604438359595065698404.6 (his name was george, not to be confused with Phill who jumped up and yelled OOK!) managed to predict this after he materialized from out of nothing and banged it away on his typewriter.....  Unfortunately nobody was able to read this amazing prediction because
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 18, 2009, 03:26:30 PM
monkey number 458883765947856945589604438359595065698404.7 (his name was Tony, and not to be confused with monkey number 458883765947856945589604438359595065698404.6, George - anyhow, Tony had slightly bigger ears) had run out of toilet paper (again!, though what'd you expect - there was an infinite amount of monkeys taking a poo) and had grabbed the first piece of soft paper he could lay his grubby hands on, and so the prediction was lost forever!  And that's the way the cookie crumbles, or so they say; however... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 18, 2009, 06:51:21 PM
the word was said again!


N-U-C-U-L-A-R

And a POP!
Biddy was back in the frat house with George Bush jr.!
" Hey there doggie,,good poo ,huh?" Said George taking back the mirror with lines of white powder.
"This stuff will knock you on your ass! " Said George" You Know im gonna be prezidint of the U Hess of Hay one day?" He continued
Biddy ,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 18, 2009, 07:40:56 PM
wondered why he could not remember that word to trigger the trans dimensional shift again....  Looking forelornely at the future PREZNIT of the  U Hess of Hay thinking What a sick sense of humor SOMEBODY must have to allow this jackass to be in charge of where the cocaine actually goes, but there it is.... 

Meanwhile, Tony, (monkey number 458883765947856945589604438359595065698404.7 not to be confused with monkey number 458883765947856945589604438359595065698404.6) was actually thinking of some positive uses of his opposable thumbs...  Like doing something about the used toilet paper problem...

He

Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on March 19, 2009, 10:21:37 AM
started fisting his toliet bowl in hopes of it spitting back out the excess toilet tissue he had mistakenly flushed down....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 19, 2009, 05:04:48 PM
the unending chasm of a poo pit the night before.  It wasn't a good day: not only was he up to his fury little elbows in malodorous monkey crap and arse-wipes, but he'd also left his trusty pot of zinc and castor oil in the other monkey hut.  His incipient nappy rash demanded immediate attention... So, trousers down to his ankles, and with a bandy-legged shuffle, our unfortunate stinky monkey manages to...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on March 19, 2009, 07:31:48 PM
substitute his tail for the missing toilet tissue after he realizes that there is inevitably no other solution. However after taking a whiff of his tail he collapsed and fell into a deep slumber and started to hallucinate about.......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 19, 2009, 07:51:10 PM
about what he could do with his tail and some vegemite anal lube, which was pretty popular by a full third of the monkeys STILL banging on their typewriters.....

but it was just then, after he swished his tail (to knock the flies off ) that someone flushed the toilet, where his tail happened to be..

FLUSSSSSSSSHHHHHH!!! he was wisked into the the unending chasm of a poo pit...  Biddy was never one to be shocked by anything
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 20, 2009, 12:09:00 PM
and, despite the fact that our beloved hero, Biddy, was face-to-face with a sniffling prick of an ex-president harlequin - he still remained unperturbed.  However...

The next sequence of events turned out to be one of the most shocking events in his life; even more so than that time he was fondled and molested by a barbarous tribe of sexually deprived pencil cases.  But first....


We have to address the following question:
Is it possible to have a third of an infinite amount? 

Ok, now on with the story.

We now witness the Bush monkey president bent over his desk.  Directly behind him stands Biddy, who is violently administering to him a good old fashion wedgie (also known as a mervin, snuggie, grundie etc).  Just before the pants (also known as briefs, boxers... etc) slice the buffoon completely in half, out flies from the top desk drawer a monkey completely covered in poo.

"Omfg!!" screams Biddy.

The Monkey... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 20, 2009, 12:40:11 PM
bewildered and smelly, saluted smartly and started gibbering in his monkey language at Bush.
 Putting the coccain down,Bush stared intently at the gibbering monkey.
Biddy,stopping giving the wedgie,turned Bush's boxerslooseandlooked on in amazement.
The Monkey was actualy talkingto Bush,and Bush was understanding!
"Thats what is wrong with this guy,his brain is the same as a simians!"
 This answered many questions,,such as,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 20, 2009, 02:33:46 PM
why did the chicken cross the road? and...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 20, 2009, 04:50:14 PM
and can you be "illegaly blind?"
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 20, 2009, 05:40:32 PM
and, is it cruel to shoot penguins out of cannons? 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 20, 2009, 08:18:04 PM
And if so,what about kittens?
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 20, 2009, 09:18:20 PM
For all those interested, the answer is a resounding NO to all the above, apart from the chicken question.  For anyone still wondering about the chicken question, well... you need help. 

But all this is fairly irrelevant (unless you're still having issues about exactly why did the chicken cross the road, and have since become a somnambulating zombie and institutionalised as a result of trying to figure out the answer).  Irrelevant for Biddy anyway.  Irrelevant because Biddy was looking from Bush monkey to poo monkey and desperately consulting his New Unabridged Simian Dictionary, and failing desperately to comprehend a word that was being passed from the lips of these two losers.  Anyway... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 20, 2009, 10:24:36 PM
Bush and the monkt chatered away.
Evicently,they were telling each other dirty jokes,which sounded very dirty concidering the situation.
 Biddy ,feeling left out ( likethats anything new) broke out his trusty book of The Worlds Dirtiest Jokes and started rifling through its vegimite stained pages settling one particular joke.
This joke was once uttered by Rincewind on the Discworld opening a rift to the Dungeon Dimentions,unleashing all kinds of tenticaled and scaley horrors until a dwarf named Modo drove them back with his trusty pair of garden shears.
 This though, was after the mulching incident which costed several minor wizards and three students ( one of which was a former dwarf bread maker named Weakinthabum) there very souls. Wich , as they saw it, wasnt a bad thing since they werent using them anyway.
 This joke was original written durring World War Two by a comic genious named Hans Grund to defeat the British during the little known battle of Wanda's dame House and Petting Zoo.
 More on that battlemuch much much much later though.
 The mere utterance of the punchline causd massive internal bleading from the laughter it caused,resulting in the colon rising up and throtling the brain of the listener.
 Biddy took a deap breath and read this ancient and alien pies of humor it went like this,,,,,,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 20, 2009, 11:13:32 PM
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

<Unfortunately I've had to edit this post on the behest of the moderator; something about not wanting to encourage a potentiality whereby brains could be throttled by colons...

Bah to censorship!  :(  But since I don't fancy being beaten by the banning stick, I've acquiesced and omitted the punch line - Sorry! > 


So, anyway... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 21, 2009, 05:43:47 PM
Bush and the monkt chatered away.
Evicently,they were telling each other dirty jokes,which sounded very dirty concidering the situation.
 Biddy ,feeling left out ( likethats anything new) broke out his trusty book of The Worlds Dirtiest Jokes and started rifling through its vegimite stained pages settling one particular joke.
This joke was once uttered by Rincewind on the Discworld opening a rift to the Dungeon Dimentions,unleashing all kinds of tenticaled and scaley horrors until a dwarf named Modo drove them back with his trusty pair of garden shears.
 This though, was after the mulching incident which costed several minor wizards and three students ( one of which was a former dwarf bread maker named Weakinthabum) there very souls. Wich , as they saw it, wasnt a bad thing since they werent using them anyway.
 This joke was original written durring World War Two by a comic genious named Hans Grund to defeat the British during the little known battle of Wanda's dame House and Petting Zoo.
 More on that battlemuch much much much later though.
 The mere utterance of the punchline causd massive internal bleading from the laughter it caused,resulting in the colon rising up and throtling the brain of the listener.
 Biddy took a deap breath and read this ancient and alien pies of humor it went like this,,,,,,,,,,,,

Off topic and all guys,,but poo!
I did this passage when I was on anti depressants,,damn and I need to take more and write a book!
Id need an editor to fix the typos,,but DAMN!


Ok back on topic

 The monky  started laughing so hard,,his ears were bleeding!

Bush just look confused in his typical Bush way, untill a rift opened and a spikey scaley tentical came out and whisked his soul away into the bowels of Hell.
 The monkey,startled,,chatered hystericaly even more, that is until he died of internal bleeding and his brain being throttled by his colon, ( crappy way to die, )
Biddy,,looking on in horror,just froze.
Six hours later,,Bush handed Biddy a tray of white powder scraped into neat little lines.
" Heer yoo go pardner, this stuf'll fix yoo rite up"
Biddy,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on March 21, 2009, 09:11:43 PM
OFF topic!!  Robin, that was comedic GENIUS!  LMAO

Back on...

was so busy wondering why he did not hear "NUKULAR" n when Bush appeared from the depths of HELL smelling of brimstone...  that he did not mind his manners one little bit as he snorted all of the white powder on the mirror..

"How did you manage that?" Biddy asked, and Bush went on about how some old guy named richard took care of everything, and his soul would not be needed for another 40-50 years...

Time to do more
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 21, 2009, 09:25:40 PM
time travelling, but first Biddy wanted to do some more coke.  But...

Biddy suddenly noticed something!!  (and this was on-topic... oh hang on, not it wasn't...  this was on top of Bush's shoulders   :D  )

Looking more carefully at Bush, he could now see that Bush had a monkey on his back.  Now we're not talking about the dead monkey on the floor (whose brains were still being bludgeoned by an overzealous colon), or any type of typographical monkey for that matter.  No!, we are talking about a Coke Monkey. 

As any person knows, a coke monkey is a truly despicable and nasty creature for the following reasons:

1. They refused to bash out the complete works of Shakespeare. 
2. They have a rather unsociable idiosyncrasy of jumping on people's backs and then selling the soul to the highest bidder.   
3. They were, more often than not, invisible. 

Number 3 made these nasty little critters a difficult phenomena to deal with.  So it is strange that Biddy could see it now, but... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 25, 2009, 01:54:24 PM
this is a story about the imposible being possible.
I mean,,who can actualy say they have mnet a dog with three testicles?
Not me,,and ive been around some.
 But nontheless ( very cool word to throw into places like this sentence) Biddy saw the invisible monkey.
Or rather smelled it, since it smelled like vegimite ( amazing how that awfull substance makes its way into this story in convenient times).
Vegimite is a horrid substance made from , well,my guess is sheep droppings, in a country called Australia.
This is an amazing place, but more on that later.
Biddy "sensed" this back humping monkey and was looking around furiously  for something to bludgeon it to death with .
But alas ( another cool word to put in a sentence to make it seem classier) nothing was found.
Sooo,,being the ultra cool kinda world traveling super hero type doggie that Biddy was,, he told the forbiddin joke,,once more, taking the chance that Bush didnt have a brain to be throttled and bludgeoned to death by his colon ( crappy way to die ill tell you that much>
After the punchline was said,,Bush just looked confused as the monky burst into a fine red mist ( new side effect,,howd you like it? lol) .
This experiment proved that even Bush,,being the bottom he was, had no brain.
He was just hellbent on being a president of a free country and destroying it any way he could.
This is because Bush weasnt a human, he was a collection of small organisms  from the planet Dumasia.
Where all they aspire to do is becoime president of a free country, and destroy it willie nillie any way they can.
This is of course due to their local religion called "The Sacred Chao".
 This is not to be confused with Discordianism,,which to some is an honorable belief.
 Biddy,took all this is, and was starting to figure things out. WHat was  REALLY going on was this: The world was ,,,,,,,,,,,,,


OFF topic!!  Robin, that was comedic GENIUS!  LMAO

Back on...

was so busy wondering why he did not hear "NUKULAR" n when Bush appeared from the depths of HELL smelling of brimstone...  that he did not mind his manners one little bit as he snorted all of the white powder on the mirror..

"How did you manage that?" Biddy asked, and Bush went on about how some old guy named richard took care of everything, and his soul would not be needed for another 40-50 years...

Time to do more


Thank you,,I apreciate it.
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on March 27, 2009, 06:58:01 AM
nothing more than a metaphorical atom in a grain of sand upon a beach that was the universe.  To make things worse, there were an infinite number of these metaphorical beaches.  This made Biddy's head spin and almost had the same effect upon him as the brain exploding joke.

Anyway, having ascertained that Bush was merely an assemblage of small organisms from the planet Dumasia, Biddy adroitly whipped out of his back pocket his trusty can of "Small Organism Repellent" (which he always keeps there in case of emergencies like this), and sprayed the little malicious arseholes until the can was completely empty. 

Biddy looked on in amazement as Bush, right before his eyes, started to... 
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 30, 2009, 06:53:04 PM
turn into Carl Sagan.
This would be surprising only if...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on April 06, 2009, 07:30:27 PM
Carl Sagan didnt look so much like a monkey.
 Biddy felt this strange eirie feeling, this craving for things he knew were bad for him.
He broke out in a sweat, his head was a ching, and his hands were trembling.
Oh No!!! Biddy realized that while he was watching the halucination of Bush turning into a beloved astronomer that he now himself, had a monkey on his back!!!!
 The whole thing was a ruse so that the evil monkey emperor Sarnak could get his infernal grip on our beloved hero!
Only one thing to do! It was to ,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on April 22, 2009, 05:47:10 PM
spank the monkey!!!!!!
Now, on some worlds, monkey spanking is a sporting event , exept where the monkeys have rights. Like the infamouse Planet of Polyester Suits, where they are called, ( believe it or not) Monkey Suits.
 Why they are called monkey suits is to this day, unclear, especialy since monkeys dont were them.
Lounge Lizards do.
Your typical Lounge Lizard is a small reptile about 6 inches long that usualy sells auto insurance during the day, and hangs out in bars at night carousing with the odd Bar Flie.
 As for the Bar Flies,, they have, to this date, never actualy fraternized with Lounge Lizards.
But back to the story at hand.
Biddy, being the ultra experienced super heroic world and dimensional traveler that he is, swatted the monkey's behind, causing Sarnak to fall off of his back ( dont as how he did this, just accept that it was done).
Sarnak, being the right scallywag that he was, decided at this time to ,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 02:54:59 AM
continue telling his story 3 weeks later as nobody was willing to listen until that time.
Clearing his throat, having already picked his nose as flossed his teeth, he told of the time
when UFOs invaded his hometown zapping everyone except the mayor into pieces of cow manure.
The town smelled so bad that the UFO's malfunctioned crashing into the ground creating "Hollywood".
Having hid inside a toilet during the invasion, he realized his fortune was indeed a long-run opportunistic blessing.
Wiping the feces from his forehead, he rushed for auditions deciding he would ultimately become an actor,
and not just any actor, but a monkey-gorilla-lizard/michael jackson-flying panda.
Unfortunately, as he walked into the doors he realized michael jackson had already auditioned for his part so
he became a monkey stripper instead. He shaved his entire fur to heighten the effect and to make sure that the sun tanned
his baboon ass.......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 07, 2009, 04:36:01 PM
 and took up clases in pole dancing.
This was right next to the " Ben Grable School Of Pole Smoking".
Pole smoking is a time honored tradition among the denizens of the planet Playtex.
Of course, it sounded more fun than what it realy was, since pole smoking is actualy the act of ,,well, literaly, smoking poles over an open fire.
But,, being the planet earth, smoking poles was not really acceptable, especialy in a country in Europe called Poland.
Just like in the UK, where its acceptable to light a cigarette on fire and smoke it, in America this would be concidered a hate crime.
( Dear GOD! Im skimming close to a warning here!!!!)
Sooo,,on we go with the story,, except, now we have a British Gekko in a Lounge Lizard suit sitting in a bar plotting world domination with a 4 foot dwarf named Gimbo.
 Gimbo wasnt anything special, he dropped out of high school at the age of 30, he had bad teath , and body odor that would peal plate steel.
But the Lizard ( lets call  hiim Ralph) had plans for this dwarf, big plans.
Anything big apealed to Gimbo, especialy since he wasnt very big himself ( like we said, 4 feet tall).
 Ralph was talking in hushed tone to gimbo when the waitress came over to bring them both a refill of,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 04:42:50 PM
filtered down 0.5 concentrate swine piss.
Ralph chugged it down like a pro while his troll buddy(let's call him AJ, refer here for info : http://www.diasfora.co.uk/index.php?topic=2144.15) was disgusted at the prospect of drinking liquefied swine flue straight from the can, so instead he......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 07, 2009, 04:45:44 PM
SO he , being the troll that he was, decided to heckle Ralph and Gimbo from accross the room while drinking his mug of Troll SPirits ( which is a concoction of monkey urine, fermented flie spit, and watery fromunda cheese).
 The smell of which was enough to....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 04:46:37 PM
Spoiler (hover to show)
......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 07, 2009, 04:47:28 PM
Spoiler (hover to show)
......

Hmed,, you scare me brother.lol
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 04:48:08 PM
I try.  :D :D :D
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 07, 2009, 04:52:35 PM
As for monkeys, they loved the stuff, especialy the female monkeys.
Some male monkeys though, felt they were being replaced by mugs of stinky Troll Spirits.
Maybe thats why ralph was going to use monkeys ( which he allready has) to try and take over the worl.
He and Gimbo have allready inlisted Sarnak to cause havok, even though the Troll, AJ warned them ( by heckling them accross the room the other day) that it wont work, and that they need to get rid of one three balled dog named Biddy.
Byt did they listen? Noooooooooo.
No one listens to trolls.
Well, not anyone with any sanity anyway.
Anyway,, on with thte story, ...
ralph and Gimbo were discussing what to do with Biddy when all the sudden, AJ threw his mug of troll spirits ( now that its a givin that this part of the story willl have more troll spirits in it, it will no longer be capitalized, since its no longer a new term) onto the floor, exciting several monkeys to no end.
At that moment, the door to the bar flew open, revealing,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 04:54:50 PM
Biddy's third testicle which was hung so low to the ground that he had to look down with every step in order to avoid tripping over it.
His eyes on his balls the whole time he had not noticed the spilled trolls spirirts AJ had throw earlier and slipped landing on his third ball causing it to split into 3 more......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 07, 2009, 04:57:05 PM
breaking the worlds record for the most testicles on a living thing.
And well, exciting one monkey that was a bit of a freak.
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 04:58:21 PM
The monkey became extrememly aroused to the point that his baboon ass starting to glow causing a blinding glare in eyeryones's eyes, he took this chance to kidnap biddy so he can take his away to his home and...........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 07, 2009, 05:00:39 PM
put him with his collection of excitable things, such as lava lamps, mp3 cell phones, and the most excitable thing,. Edible Frizbees
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 05:02:14 PM
The end.


 :D :D :D
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 07, 2009, 05:02:58 PM
oh damn,, I got to lock this thing now and start over!
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 05:03:34 PM
haha, we could go with.....

and they lived happily ever after until...........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 07, 2009, 05:04:23 PM
That works,, !
Concidering you really cant lock a topic in chaos,,,i mean, you can.
But it would be bad form.
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 07, 2009, 05:05:16 PM
yeah because locking a topic in chaos is like telling everyone in this forum to shut the frick up.  :D
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on May 11, 2009, 08:19:15 PM
But Mr Topic had been shackled and locked in the oubliette, and left to rot and fester.  Some would impute merely metaphorical qualities to chaos, that it is merely another way of describing mental confusion and utter despair in our turbulent dystopian society we all flounder through and inevitably end up wondering what the golly it is all about, and is it really worth it.  But you'd be wrong.  Chaos is a real place, a devilish place.  A dungeon built many moons ago but the tyrannical Dr CanD - a mad scientist who managed to breathe life into nebulous concepts and then personify them. 

So, what is Mr Topics fate?  Will he ever escape from the dungeon and despotic mastermind Dr CanD?  Some would say...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 11, 2009, 10:01:16 PM
he could.
Mr. Topic is a renound genious, able to create anything out of thought alone!
Much like the Flying Handleflies of the planet Erb!
But,., they dont count for obvious reasons.
Mr Topic is better!
 As for this Dystopian society that we all live in, its just a product of the evil Dr Concept,Mr. Topics true Arch Nemisis!
Dr. CanD is just his lacky, although a very resourcefull lacky nontheless.
Mr. Topic,,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 11, 2009, 10:14:36 PM
was off topic when he realized AJ(the troll from before) was running towards him stark naked.
In his hand he had banana peels and a sling shot.........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 12, 2009, 06:23:49 PM
This in itself was soooooo sick. I mean, a nked troll?
Anyone that can concieve of this was, well, needing help!
But alas, AJ was a nudist anyway, and in his troll spirit fogged mind, the banana peels were handgrenades, and he was going to bust Mr Topic out of the dungeon, one slipery peel at a time!
As this was going on, outside the dungeon, several townspeople were,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 12, 2009, 07:29:16 PM
lighting torches and flinging cow dung into the dungeon.
The entire townsmen were chemists so they knew that a certain concentration
of cow poopy mixed with the right amount of troll barf would make the cruelest most
dangerous weapon even know to man. The enrgy released by such a combination was enogh to make the A-bomb
look like a killing joke. Just as they were lighting the cow poopy on fire to catapult it into AJ's dungeon,
a man in silver armor riding a 17 legged 14 headed dragon came crash landing on top of..........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on May 12, 2009, 10:36:44 PM
They townspeople, crushing them under its imense lopsided bulk.
And who do we see comming off the top of the beastie?
Why,, a very familiar pair of dogs,!
Yes! Biddiy and his mother have come to save the day once more!
Biddy and his mother, along with the odor of old vegimite, marched to the catapult and,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on May 13, 2009, 05:47:09 PM
used biddy's third testicle(now we're down to 5 was it? :D ) as a sample missile........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on June 13, 2009, 12:04:56 PM
However, when it exploded into obliteration before it traveled 5 feet!!  Biddy wondered, absently, as he scratched the crack of his bottom why his testicle would not hold form...   

Fortunately, he ran his hand across a vegemite dingleberrry, loaded it and SWOOOOOOOSH!!!  It launched with PERFECT
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: davidsolomon83 on June 13, 2009, 02:27:49 PM
.......................just then:

The federal censor board guys cut off those lines and all similar material, well at least they tried to do so, as a result Biddy had to rephrase some of his actions, even some that he could not turn back on, yet he had to what had to be done, so, this is what happened:

.........he had just thrown a "fake" "plastic" "melon", the moment it hit, the explosion was massive, all the people were confused whether to eat off the bits or scratch their heads, you see, Biddy had "lubricated" the "fake" "plastic" "melon" with.........yes, the "old spice flavored vegemite" , neat for a trick, it saved his life just in the nick of time.......... "The old "veg" is still a life saver, Ma" as they fled into the sunset.................
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on June 13, 2009, 04:26:32 PM
Dancing a merry jig to the music of bagpipes eminating from Biddy's ipod.
Other songs on the ipod were,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: davidsolomon83 on June 16, 2009, 08:36:33 AM
.................songs as marvelous as:

the famous polka song of the 1950s, theme for Chuck Norris, Larry King's Tango Tune, Special bedroom time theme of Stephen King and so on, .........

.............as Biddy enjoyed his moment while listening to his songs with his mother, he realized.......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on June 16, 2009, 02:01:50 PM
He hadn't lost 4 of his testicles,they were being held for him in the enemy's dungeon awaiting his rescue..........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on June 16, 2009, 06:19:46 PM
Which was odd, since he only had three to begin with.
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on June 17, 2009, 07:09:32 AM
Yes, but secretly, his third testicle was cloned, and copies are being rolled all around the several universes already trashed by biddy and his mum....

Hmmmmmm
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on June 17, 2009, 04:54:00 PM
One such universe was the home of the Flying Worms of Arl.
These worms regarded the testicle as a God since it appeared out of nowhere, and well, the worls were in the market for a new God since thieres decided Godhood was boring and wandered off to join a tribe or wandering jugglers.
 One was in a universe populated solely by purple dwarves.
Well, WAS populated solely by purple dwarves anyway, since there being no other life forms, they resorted to canibalism and ate thier way into extinction.
Another was one that just so happened appeared in a universe much like our own, exept America was called Acirema, and had a stable economy, made use of money wisely , and manufactured decent cars at a good price.
But this universe didnt last long since it was just too silly and couldnt go on with itself.
The most notable universe with a testicle roaming around was a universe that had,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: davidsolomon83 on June 17, 2009, 05:04:33 PM
...............hermaphrodite beings, selfless independent, fierce and brave beings, who were hermaphrodites, male and female both rolled into the some package, handy when it came to spending money on things so trivial as human mating rituals otherwise known as dating, BUT

..............then these hermaphrodite beings realized, they had no use for Biddy's fabulous roaming testicle, WHY you may ask? because each one of these hermaphrodite beings had already ten pairs of their own testicles inside their bodies in their chins when they were born, and when you have 10 pairs of testicles already, who needs a roaming and unfamiliar stranger testicle anyway  ??? ???

.......But causality leads to existence and so we all must accept what happened next..........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on June 22, 2009, 07:34:55 AM
The testicle that rises daily from the west settling in the south. You see, testicles are everything in Testicle Angeles.
The city that's always on the runs, or has the runs.
Everything in that city, from currency to gasoline was derived from testicles.
So one can imagine the catastrophic domino effect that would occur to the city's economy if.......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on June 22, 2009, 05:57:25 PM
Someone were to neuter it.
Or what would hapen if it were to be kicked in its collective balls.
But thats another story for another time ( think about three posts and it will be a major story in this thread).
So anyway,, in a society thats bassed on testicles, the one thing that could happen was,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on June 23, 2009, 01:30:31 AM
( think about three posts and it will be a major story in this thread).

:D

as it already is.  ;D

Someone were to neuter it.
Or what would hapen if it were to be kicked in its collective balls.
But thats another story for another time ( think about three posts and it will be a major story in this thread).
So anyway,, in a society thats bassed on testicles, the one thing that could happen was,,,,

That the giant whispering eye planet could collide into Testicle Angeles and cause all of the sacs to rupture and thus render the city phallic. It would not be a pretty sight , well, at least compared to the usual view of bushes here and their in their central park( so many puns it's almost a crime :D ).........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on July 02, 2009, 05:10:09 PM
Meanwhile, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, Biddy's mum was spat out of the festering orifice that belonged to Biddy's granny.  It was an ugly baby, a hair's breadth away from gaining employment with the medusoid clan, but in spite of this disadvantage...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on July 02, 2009, 05:49:10 PM
Biddys mum gained employment in a vegimite factory at an early age.
Thus came her addiction to the horrid stuff.
She then met this sailor from a ship called The Filthy dame and from that union came Biddy.
The Filthy dame would haunt Biddy for the rest of his days, since it was a cargo ship carrying bio waste from many many medical experiments.
This his gift of three testicles.
 His sister, Daisy though ( another sailor from a ship carrying toxic waste from New Jersey) is another story.
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on July 03, 2009, 12:58:13 PM
Due to the overwhelming power and toxicity of the New Jersey waste, Daisy, a Hermaphrodite, wound up with 5 testes and 7 Ovaries....  This did not mean that her apatite for sexual encounters was any less
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on July 04, 2009, 06:16:13 AM
ragging than a bull with a porcelain fetish unleashed in a china shop with unlimited dinero at its command.  Jersey, the new cow in the neighbourhood, once declaimed that...
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on July 11, 2009, 05:36:58 PM
she destroyed no less than six china shops in one afternoon back in 1997.
Of course, that couldnt be verified because all the witnesses were,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on July 12, 2009, 12:34:37 AM
testicles wearing glasses all sitting in a bar serving bottles of piss......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: dweez on July 12, 2009, 01:13:08 AM
This thread scares me (esp. cz)
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Sophocles on July 12, 2009, 09:06:12 AM
to anybody named Fred who wore spiderman uniforms when having a panic attack.  This sudden trend in employing only spectacled myopic balls....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on July 13, 2009, 11:03:50 PM
is a normal thing, especialy in a universe where midgets run for mayor.
I know this for a fact, I once was so bored I drank a bottle of bleach, belched repeatedly, and saw a purple dragon riding Biddy while he was wearing a body stocking silk screaned to resemble a nude squid.
Or was that all just an acid flashback from w hen I was partying with Daisy on Fort Lauderdale back in 1988?
Oh well.
Back on track here.
While the testicles were drinking thier mugs of piss, a strange noise outside the bar made them all run outside and start ,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on July 14, 2009, 01:05:03 AM
to conjoin themselves into pairs. The loud thuds as they slammed into each other caused earthquakes that shook the whole planet which inevitably resulted in.........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: davidsolomon83 on July 15, 2009, 07:22:14 AM
..............the forced epic migration of life on a biblical scale, a prediction no one could have made.......... however, as soon as they united the resultant release of radiant energy was alarmingly high enough to...........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on August 05, 2009, 01:57:52 AM
What a bent up story this has become!  :D :D :D
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on August 09, 2009, 02:27:44 PM
Oh wow,, I let others do he writing and I read and laugh lol
..............the forced epic migration of life on a biblical scale, a prediction no one could have made.......... however, as soon as they united the resultant release of radiant energy was alarmingly high enough to...........

cause a kind of global warming. But not the kind that you wuld think.
Just the sweaty sticky kind like after a drunk in a Tejuana whorehouse on a saturday night after watching several donkey shows.
 This in itself created a type of sweat that was marketable to the natives of a country on a far off planet called Ur.
 Many of these natives were desert nomads called Watdefuks.
They hearded desert alligaters and for some unknown reason made a living at it.
Atleast until th great desert alligator uprising of '05 where the poor reptiles rebelled due o the lack of decent music available in the desert.
 Most notably te music of........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on August 15, 2009, 02:45:10 AM
irish folklore stories told in the shining sunmoonlightnight.

^huh?!
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on August 16, 2009, 02:42:56 PM
It was later stopped when the grea musician Gonzo Farnsworth recorded his one single " Having a glass of .......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on September 13, 2009, 04:02:46 PM
Suddenly,, this fortyish looking guy with a beard stepped into the picture,,looked around and said " Oh no,,,this isnt good, this kinda got lame" .

He then took out his magic eraser and erased much of this story from the minds of the readers.

No one knew,, but this guy is also known in some worlds as the Creater ( not the one you think though).
He is even venerated by the Mad Preists od the planet () ( yes folks,, thats its name,,,()..).
 

  He then re wrote some of the story,, beggining with " And in the beggining,,Biddy came to be in the Amstel Brewery in Amsterdam as a lowley beer sampler,, when suddenly he had this idea.
 What is they made a beer tasting like...........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on September 13, 2009, 04:59:12 PM
 :D

this story went to hell RG.

Good thinking, let's start new.

Suddenly,, this fortyish looking guy with a beard stepped into the picture,,looked around and said " Oh no,,,this isnt good, this kinda got lame" .

  He then re wrote some of the story,, beggining with " And in the beggining,,Biddy came to be in the Amstel Brewery in Amsterdam as a lowley bear sampler,, when suddenly he had this idea.
 What is they made a bear tasting like...........

...... honey! But not just any ol' brand of honey! no sirree! this honey was very bear-like in taste and left lots of.......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on September 13, 2009, 05:58:40 PM
vitamins and natural ingredients in it.
Nothing was ever marketed in the world like it!
Just think,, something that was tottaly natural and good for you!
Then ,, one time at band camp,, one was opened. It didnt look like honey, it didnt smell like honey ether.
It smelled and looked suspiciously like something made from the yeasty substance that is left after beer is processed.
It was ,,,it was,,,,VEGIMITE!!!!!!!!
The yucky nasty stuff that could only atract one thing!
The one thing that was the detriment to every decent citizen in the bible belt!
 Something that was so vile,, so crude, so obscene that even gangsta rap palatable to the ears by comparison!
It was,,it was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on September 13, 2009, 06:12:56 PM
terrible, gruesome, horribly disgusting and........
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on September 13, 2009, 06:22:19 PM
attracted the wrong crowed.
 Such as,,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on September 13, 2009, 06:23:20 PM
yellow teddy bears that resemble the 4chan pedobear on wheels.......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on September 13, 2009, 06:26:42 PM
and gay bikers from the LA Underground.

Unnfortunately,, a marketing agency found a way to market it to small children in inner sities,, they called it,,,,,
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on September 13, 2009, 06:36:28 PM
pedobikes.......
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: Robin-Graves on September 13, 2009, 06:45:27 PM
Thats just wrong lmao
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on September 13, 2009, 06:46:35 PM
 :D
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: cz85b on June 09, 2010, 06:29:08 PM
Ahem..

However, THAT marketing firm was FIRED by none other than the great lord and Don...

BIDDY HIMSELF who had just returned from the bone strokin, beer toatin, cigarette smokin, joint token holiday where he got to spend some quality time with his mum.  That part of the story will remain a mistery, because the more interesting subject was what happened when the The Biddy walked into the board room.....
Title: Re: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)
Post by: hmed2390 on January 02, 2011, 08:54:55 AM
and then this message popped up:

Warning: this topic has not been posted in for at least 120 days.
Unless you're sure you want to reply, please consider starting a new topic.

and the thread was dead.

 :D