Diasfora

General Category => Chaos => Topic started by: knownassociate on March 04, 2009, 01:07:25 AM

Title: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 04, 2009, 01:07:25 AM: Early this morning I decided today was the day to clear out the spam folders. Rather than just selecting the 'delete all forever to the burning torments of hell button', I opened the folder to first take a look...By golly, I sure was glad that I did!! I almost missed out on hundreds of golden opportunities!

Out of 100 messages,19 were for Viagra or similar products promising I could have an 'awesome pole'. Their words, not mine, honest. No thanks, I think I'll pass on that. 4 cruises. Numerous offers of unneeded credit help, refinancing, and government grants to lighten my heart and my financial burdens. Now, for down south of the heart, there were at least 30 ads for multiple products for cleansing. I was tempted to google myself to see if I was wikied as being full of...it. The rest were for online education, cuz I iz stoopid. Dating/Singles/Match.com, cuz I iz lonely??. And online pharmacies because I needz drugz. If one of you would like to take advantage of any or all...of these just let me know and I would be happy to forward them to you. Even thought I did push that magic button after skimming through them, not to worry I can still get them for you, they'll all be back tomorrow.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: artfanatic on March 04, 2009, 01:39:16 AM: lmao that is great!!

Jill
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 02:03:51 AM: I got one to make my boobs bigger
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: jacktheripper305 on March 04, 2009, 10:47:01 AM: Wow, I could really use some of that stuff! A large 'pole' to please the women, lots of money from a Nigerian Prince in exile, higher education to make me smarter, and to top it all off, a clean colon!!!

There will be no stopping me after i take advantage of these awesome offers!
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: JackFrost on March 04, 2009, 11:37:08 AM: Unfortunately, it got wiped off my work server, but I used to get lots of spam in my work e-mail, and my favorite was for an herbal supplement that claimed to increase the amount of ejaculate by 837%.

Holy poo! :o
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: laama on March 04, 2009, 11:51:29 AM: I deleted one of my email accounts permanently because over 90 per cent of messages was spam. >:(
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: laama on March 04, 2009, 12:19:35 PM: Quote from: Jhb48430 on March 04, 2009, 11:52:38 AM
Must have been yahoo??

:D
It was Hushmail SSL protected email,and I don't know who the f#ck leak it to spammers. >:( >:(
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 04, 2009, 12:52:30 PM: Quote from: JackFrost on March 04, 2009, 11:37:08 AM
Unfortunately, it got wiped off my work server, but I used to get lots of spam in my work e-mail, and my favorite was for an herbal supplement that claimed to increase the amount of ejaculate by 837%.

Super Spooge: For those times you need to impregnate a small, mid-western town.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 01:51:05 PM: Mega Sperm
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: JackFrost on March 04, 2009, 02:07:24 PM: Seriously, though, unless you're filming it for porn sales, who really wants to get that messy in their own house?

With that kind of volume you'd be finding it all over the place!
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 04, 2009, 02:15:58 PM: Comments from satisfied users

Joe Blow: They give me a Big Gulp cup at the sperm bank!

Santa: It was a really white Christmas this year!

Col. Blasto: I can use shock and awe on the vagina now!

Chef Nasty: Try my new recipe for Eggs Benedict!
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 02:19:40 PM: Frank,,,,you scare me man
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: JackFrost on March 04, 2009, 02:22:28 PM: It's not just a floor wax, it's a dessert topping!
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 04, 2009, 02:24:09 PM: Some gross-o I bet. Yuck.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 04:53:16 PM: mmmmmm,,,,gravy
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 04, 2009, 07:41:04 PM: mmmmmmmmkay.(http://img116.exs.cx/img116/6469/g5cgrin.gif) After reading this thread, I have mental images looking like someone had a food fight in it.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 08:46:44 PM: Thats us,,always going to the extreme lol
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 09:31:21 PM: hehehehe,,,I saw 9 and a half weeks,,,,it can be fun if you do it right
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 11:01:53 PM: Nope,,,,they arent i guess lol
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 04, 2009, 11:49:54 PM: Eat something
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: dweez on March 05, 2009, 12:06:15 AM: Wow, this thread is all kinds of wrong.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: jacktheripper305 on March 05, 2009, 12:13:45 AM: This thread is all kinds of derailed... mostly metrolink.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 05, 2009, 12:46:58 AM: Yup, there were about 5 on topic posts, then the thread derailed and everyone jumped on for the ride. LMAO. But, after all it was a spam thread.lol
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 05, 2009, 01:49:02 AM: Talking about spam.
I got an interesting email advertising wonderfull carreer oportunities in fast food.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: dweez on March 05, 2009, 02:29:16 PM: Moved to chaos...go nutz
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: dweez on March 05, 2009, 02:33:58 PM: I had it locked too but then I thought..."Ok, either move it or lock it". Meh, it'll probably get locked again in a few days anyway.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 02:37:52 PM: Dear MR. DWEEZ,

It is my pleasure to contact you for a business venture which I intend to establish in your country.
Though I have not met with you before but I believe, one has to risk confiding in someone to succeed sometimes in life.

There is this amount of FIFTEEN Million US Dollars which my Father deposited with a security company which he wanted to
used for his political ambition in our Country before he was kidnapped and killed by unknown gun men.
Hence my father and mother is dead, I do not have any other hope rather than this funds which is why I contacted you.

If you are interested, please reply immediately with your contact information and bank profile, so I can
route these funds to your account immediately.

Sincerely,

Snuggles
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: dweez on March 05, 2009, 02:41:34 PM: SWEET!!! I'm in!!
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 02:45:04 PM: Dear MR. DWEEZ,

I apprecite your interest and we will be having for good buinsess.
I am having confusion of your message in telling me that
there are many funds in Teh Bank of Sock Drawer.

I am wondering if you are having a laugh at my expenses.

Sicerly,

Snuggles
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 02:49:00 PM: Dear MR. DWEEZ,

I am not knwoing what are hot pockets. Send proper bank informatins as soon as
possible.

Siercly,

Snuggles
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: dweez on March 05, 2009, 02:52:54 PM: /me is so excited to see the next e-mail
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 02:56:03 PM: Dear MR. DWEEZ,

You are cracked pot. I am not for "pulling the rope" in buiness, and
it is for you to pull at my rope in these matters.

Many investers are being in a line for this opprotunity. If you are
not serious, other business will be had with those having serious
and you set well having only hot packet on your face.

Siencerly,

Snuggles
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 03:06:44 PM: Dear MR. DWEEZ,

You are not for having the demands. I am the super vision.
You are breaking the egg before the pot is ready, and I surgest
you make a turn and send the informatins sooner before my
tension is reached.

Sidencly,

Snuggles
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 03:14:57 PM: Dear MR. DWEEZ,

You tell big lies! You do not own a time in month, time is for the universse having owning.
I will not have hash with you or any other illegal substnace deals.
You make for drugs on own time.

Sincccerl,,d,

Sondgles
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 03:23:19 PM: Dear MR. DWEEZ,

Only for buisness and serious. No big lies. Send informations not packets or socks.

Sencgkdly,

Snuggles
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 03:30:33 PM: Dear MR. DWEEZ,

I am currently in Lagos, Nigeria. If you are here, we can meet. I will not being the pancake though.

Senferly,

Snuggles
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 03:39:55 PM: U HaXXored mai account1 :o
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 05, 2009, 04:01:53 PM: Quote from: indie180 on March 05, 2009, 03:51:46 PM
There is a 419 thread http://www.diasfora.co.uk/index.php?topic=48.0 (http://www.diasfora.co.uk/index.php?topic=48.0) ;D

Is there a fake 419 thread though? ;D
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: indie180 on March 05, 2009, 04:06:37 PM: Go back to snuggles and MR DWEEZ ;D
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 05, 2009, 10:12:35 PM: Can I borrow a fewbucks?lool
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 06, 2009, 01:09:43 AM: Why is the FBI in the kitchen photocopying all the emails?
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 06, 2009, 01:20:07 AM: Quote from: Jhb48430 on March 06, 2009, 01:07:08 AM
RG, I thought you were rich man... ;)

Um,,no,,im famouse,,not rich,,anymore anyway.
Damn,,,,,I have no reason to live now
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 06, 2009, 01:23:42 AM: Awww sure you do, look at all the fun we have.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 06, 2009, 01:31:12 AM: We saved some for you RG
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 06, 2009, 01:38:23 AM: Yup.
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 06, 2009, 01:41:45 AM: ;D
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: dweez on March 06, 2009, 06:46:40 AM: J and Frank...that was awesome! (up until Indie broke your roll that is ;) )
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: frankcapri on March 06, 2009, 10:03:23 AM: Quote from: dweez on March 06, 2009, 06:46:40 AM
J and Frank...that was awesome! (up until Indie broke your roll that is ;) )

It's probably better that way. I'm out of practice of pretending to be a 419er ;)
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 06, 2009, 09:25:48 PM: A standing ovation...KA applauding for all she's worth. Tries to do the wave by herslef, looks for some help...
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: Robin-Graves on March 06, 2009, 11:23:57 PM: * Hands KA a business card of a well known shrink* Here,,this guy does good work
Title: Re: Golden Opportunities
Post by: knownassociate on March 07, 2009, 01:04:08 PM: ...KA looks at card, thanks RG, walks over to a file cabinet,opens largest file drawer, and files card in it's proper alphabetical order, struggles to close the overly-full drawer.