Diasfora
General Category => Chaos => Topic started by: 8ullfrog on October 16, 2016, 11:06:37 PM
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I'm coming up on a year since I got my diagnosis. I'll admit I fell off the wagon when I got it, and I still struggle with wanting to drink, which is made worse by the fact that it would be so easy to walk to cvs and buy a bottle.
I still haven't come to terms with it. It feels like I died, and this is just, a long sad afterward. The stigma against my condition is even worse. Even the charity that helped me get through the diagnosis and treatment process had a tinge of judgement to it, insisting that I "know" how I got it, when really, I don't. I've always been sickly, but I don't know if they ever checked for this before. Only times I went to the doctor were when an employer required a piss test or physical.
It doesnxt help that finding information on my condition is less than easy, one site I visited even spoofed a .gov address said that even with treatment, I had only 2-4 years to live, while expert doctors have told me I can live out a full natural life.
Insurance, honestly if I didn't have state subsidized insurance I would be dead by now. Even then they made me go through a process at the pharmacy I found humiliating. And the pills are $4000 a month. The most I've ever had on hand is $5000, ever.
And the moving forward bit, it seems so far away. I've tried applying to social security, and was denied on grounds that I may face "some fatigue" due to my condition. Some days I can barely manage to get up just to take my pills.
I haven't seen my counselor since July, I've kept my psychiatrist visits to "The pills keep me from being insanely paranoid", and my case manager discontinued services because I honestly didn't know what case management meant.
The most I've heard on progress is 3-6 months from my lawyer.
So yeah, I'm managing to take my pill every day, but not much else.
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We are always here as your unpaid support group.
-- but when you win the lottery, pay would be nice.
I'm a useless counsellor as my advice is always to have a beer and then another. In this case it truly would be the worst advice.
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I'm glad you feel comfortable coming here. I wish I could be more help.
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Keep Your Chin Up
Sometimes we focus on all our strife
And forget to look forward to everyday life
When things are rough
And life gets tough
Don’t give up, keep your chin up
When your roses give you thorns
When the stars are hard to see
When it just gets hard to deal
And your questioning what you feel
Don’t give up, keep your chin up
When everything seems rotten
Or maybe you’re feeling forgotten
Try looking on the positive side
And find someone in which you can confide
Just never give up
And remember to keep your chin up
By Colleen Mulroney