Author Topic: Pizza!  (Read 6206 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Homo Superior
  • ******
  • Posts: 3233
Pizza!
« on: May 05, 2014, 09:04:43 PM »
Mom attempted to make a pizza tonight.

The abomination that came out of the oven can not, even at it's most charitable, be called pizza.

I'm considering just throwing the glass pan in the garbage so I don't have to spend hours scrubbing it clean.

Next time she's following a recipe. This was a horrible waste of food considering how cheap she's being lately.

Offline xtopave

  • Moderator
  • Q
  • *
  • Posts: 28876
  • Gender: Female
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2014, 06:15:44 AM »
What a pity, 8ully. But how could that have happened? Tell us more please.

Offline 8ullfrog

  • Homo Superior
  • ******
  • Posts: 3233
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2014, 07:21:21 AM »
She didn't spray the pan, she half baked the crust first because "The instructions said so" she threw a bunch of garbage on the pizza that made it taste like toilet wine.

You bake the crust with the pizza poo on it. It's fairly basic, even the Italians figured it out.

And you don't make a bless'ed stew on top of the crust. At best you pick A vegetable.

And that vegetable Ain't Cherry tomatoes!

Offline xtopave

  • Moderator
  • Q
  • *
  • Posts: 28876
  • Gender: Female
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2014, 09:00:41 AM »
You bake the crust with the pizza poo on it.

You bake the crust with the sauce on it but not the toppings. The cheese, peppers, olives, whatever come later when the crust is cooked. Unless of course you have a thin crust AND a proper pizza oven.

And that vegetable Ain't Cherry tomatoes!

I've done pizza with cherry tomatoes. I cut them in halves and add them last, just a minute before turning off the oven.

It's fairly basic, even the Italians figured it out.

That didn't come out right! I hope bubu doesn't come near this thread or you'll have hell to pay for this.  ;D

Offline mishca09

  • Q
  • *
  • Posts: 11386
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2014, 11:18:51 PM »
did she chop the cherry tomatos ? maybe they needed to be drained of seeds and liquad before being added?

Pizza is really hard to mess up, its super easy.  When I was on my pizza obession I would buy those premade crusts. The instructions did say to pre bake the crust a little but never for long.

Offline smokester

  • Administrator
  • Q
  • *
  • Posts: 15933
  • Gender: Male
  • Da mihi castitatem et continentiam, sed noli modo!
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2014, 05:21:16 AM »
You should buy a Pizza stone.  They're not very expensive and make your pizza bake a lot better than on metal. Easy to clean too.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline xtopave

  • Moderator
  • Q
  • *
  • Posts: 28876
  • Gender: Female
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2014, 11:10:34 AM »
You should buy a Pizza stone.  They're not very expensive and make your pizza bake a lot better than on metal. Easy to clean too.

I mean to buy that when I come across it. I've found some on the net but I don't want to pay for shipping.

Offline smokester

  • Administrator
  • Q
  • *
  • Posts: 15933
  • Gender: Male
  • Da mihi castitatem et continentiam, sed noli modo!
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2014, 11:35:41 AM »
I mean to buy that when I come across it. I've found some on the net but I don't want to pay for shipping.

We have a shop here called TK Maxx (actually TJ Maxx in America where it originates) that sell brand items at a lower cost.  Just after Xmas you can pick those pizza stones up for just a few pounds.

It's a bugger they're so heavy otherwise I'd send you one.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline xtopave

  • Moderator
  • Q
  • *
  • Posts: 28876
  • Gender: Female
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #8 on: May 29, 2014, 11:59:23 AM »
Thank you smokes, the intention counts.  :)

I'm wondering... I have a big porcelain tile. Could I use that?

Offline smokester

  • Administrator
  • Q
  • *
  • Posts: 15933
  • Gender: Male
  • Da mihi castitatem et continentiam, sed noli modo!
Re: Pizza!
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2014, 12:10:59 PM »
Thank you smokes, the intention counts.  :)

I'm wondering... I have a big porcelain tile. Could I use that?

The stones are ceramic and heat up perfectly.  The base of the pizza is biscuity and not far off what it should be.  Porcelain may work as they're quite often used over underfloor heating and hold the heat well and don't crack.  They might in an oven though.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.