Author Topic: Things that made you laugh today  (Read 155146 times)

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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #465 on: May 13, 2024, 10:00:15 AM »
What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?

A mathemachicken.

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #466 on: May 13, 2024, 12:21:59 PM »
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #467 on: May 13, 2024, 01:47:10 PM »
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'm waiting ...

^ This made me laugh today.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #468 on: May 14, 2024, 03:46:39 AM »
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my husband asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #469 on: May 15, 2024, 11:09:38 AM »
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #470 on: May 18, 2024, 08:45:05 AM »
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #471 on: May 19, 2024, 05:06:22 AM »
I had to laugh at Tyson Fury blaming the war in Ukraine for getting his arse kicked last night. He has always fought like on old bag of spuds, but he was completely outclassed and outboxed even in the rounds when he looked half decent.

It seems that denying fair results is catching.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #472 on: May 19, 2024, 11:26:45 AM »
Yeah.  I blame those reality shows for the death of good sportsmanship.  What ever happened to "let the best man win?"  Now it's all snarky "I was robbed, I should have won, the judges were unfair!  I DID win the election.  It was stolen from me."

I'd love to see the nails hammered into that coffin.

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #473 on: May 19, 2024, 12:16:55 PM »
Yeah.  I blame those reality shows for the death of good sportsmanship.  What ever happened to "let the best man win?"  Now it's all snarky "I was robbed, I should have won, the judges were unfair!  I DID win the election.  It was stolen from me."

I'd love to see the nails hammered into that coffin.

The real corrupt part of that decision last night, was from the judge who scored it 115 - 114 in favour of Fury. I didn't hear Usyk complain about that, but you could see he was an intelligent man with integrity.

I saw Tyson's post fight press interview earlier, that made me laugh all over again. It's amazing just how much Jesus and God have to do with these bouts. You'd think they'd have better things to do.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #474 on: May 20, 2024, 09:52:42 PM »
I know, right?  People are starving and there are wars, and disease, but, the Almighty really wants to drop everything to make sure that Tyson wins a prize fight.

What does a perverted frog say?

"Rubbit."

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #475 on: May 22, 2024, 07:38:21 AM »
What's the best way to catch a fish?

Have someone throw it to you.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #476 on: May 29, 2024, 09:25:19 AM »
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #477 on: May 29, 2024, 11:28:13 AM »
Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married.  The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #478 on: May 30, 2024, 09:07:12 AM »
That's funny!

I asked Siri for directions somewhere the other day and he threw in a helpful comment -- "speed camera detected."  Usually I find this Apple robot nearly useless, but in that moment he totally redeemed himself.  (I selected the male voice with British accent).  I believe there are apps that can function like radar detectors and need to do a little digging to upgrade this aspect of the navigation.  This town has multiple speed cameras that work weekdays from 8 - 6, so I'd like to know where to avoid them, having recently paid the price for my unawareness.

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #479 on: May 30, 2024, 11:15:18 AM »
That's funny!

I asked Siri for directions somewhere the other day and he threw in a helpful comment -- "speed camera detected."  Usually I find this Apple robot nearly useless, but in that moment he totally redeemed himself.  (I selected the male voice with British accent).  I believe there are apps that can function like radar detectors and need to do a little digging to upgrade this aspect of the navigation.  This town has multiple speed cameras that work weekdays from 8 - 6, so I'd like to know where to avoid them, having recently paid the price for my unawareness.

Google maps notifies you of every speed cam whilst you're driving. The problem is, nowadays they are "average speed check" cameras so slowing down just before one is of no benefit whatsoever.

British people are like coconuts. Hard on the outside but sweet once you crack us. Also often found full of alcohol and holding an umbrella.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.