Author Topic: I don't give a poo about thanos.  (Read 1985 times)

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Offline 8ullfrog

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I don't give a poo about thanos.
« on: November 05, 2016, 11:09:56 PM »
I know thanos is supposed to be the MCU Puppet master in the way that Iron Man 3 turned the mandarin into a smoke and mirrors villain as in the incredibles, but I can't take him seriously. He's a mix between a roided out Grimmace and a california raisin. He's barney the dinosaur purple, and his deus ex machina has to out deus ex machina deus ex machina.

And that's too broad ane boring. It's like the raimi spiderman villian level of who gives a poo.

In the first Iron man movie, they hinted at a shitty marvel studios self sacrifice plotline by repeatedly saying he could use his arc reactor for 15 minutes of doing something big, but when they tried to shoot that part, it was as uncompelling to them as it would be to a wider audience, and they couldn't get the effects shots right. There are vestigal organs of this in the freeway fight, but checkov's hydrogen bus never goes boom, which leaves you wondering why the golly there are so many cuts to it.

Seriously, the big stupid "all of reality is in danger" storylines bore the poo out of me. I really liked  winter soldier because it implied that hydra was fully integrated into the status quo, and they were smart enough not to run their mouth about it. Then That Crappy TV Show turns a highly sophisticated mess of ideology and hatred into a bless'ed high school football teams. Might as well recut the fistfights to benny hill music. poo, the tension in the elevator when caps team, who he has fought and bled with turn into evil nazis? Compelling poo. CGI fuckfest space fight in guardians? Yawn. Not that gotg got everything wrong. They built an interesting fleshed out and weird space society, that unfortunately is saddled with thanos and his ridiculously colored family. John C. Reilly on the other hand? Golden. He brought a bit of humanity to cgi land, something sorely lacking in all of asguard. Seriously, it's more fun watching the asguardians riff on humans on earth. Their shiny cgi city? Who gives a golly?

So thanos. Screw that guy. Write him off. Ate a bad sandwich, died in his chair before being able to hatch his plan.

MCU becomes a workplace drama of Pepper Potts trying to successfully run a business while her boyfriend runs around blowing poo up and alternately spiking and tanking stark industries stock despite having very little to do with running the company.

Sadly, souch a  show would require recasts, and will never happen. But I'd love it.