Author Topic: California Screamin'  (Read 5878 times)

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Offline 8ullfrog

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California Screamin'
« on: November 08, 2013, 09:17:18 PM »
The other night we had tri-tip, delicious, and we have quite a bit left over.

Mom came home yelling about a california burrito. She's been out all day with Sheri Contrary, her best friend/someone who needs to fall down an open manhole.

So she's hostile, and she wants everything RIGHT NOW

So I pull a recipe on youtube. The dude in the video is a twerp gun nut who needs everything just so, but the recipe is simple enough that a complete hillbilly could follow.


Mom starts yelling that the meat is already cooked and doesn't need to be told how to cook meat thank you very much.

I told her the important part of that segment was to show how to break the meat up in the burrito, she began bitching about the new youtube layout. I agreed it sucks but is off point.

Dude gets to the point where the fries are done and puts them on the tortilla with the meat. "ISN'T HE GOING TO COOK THAT" she shrieks. I point out the fact that everything is still on the grill, she tells me not to insult her. She apparently did not care for my tone.
She did not have any derogatory comments about the cheese thank god.

He pronounces guacamole in a way that makes her angry, whatever. He lays out the salsa, and that's essentially it. He adds Creme, which is apparently fancy pants sour cream, which she feels the need to madam about AGAIN.

Then she needs to be reminded how to make guacamole. I know it's just avocado, lime juice, and whatever else you want to add, but she demands another youtube video.

Most of these videos are upwards of four bless'ed minutes long. I knew the attention span wouldn't hold, so I found one that was three minutes long. Also thankfully, this video featured a woman, which seemed to sooth the rage mom was experiencing.

Here is that video:


Now she's just eating the french fries. Oh well. Tomorrow I'm ordering a bless'ed pizza.


[REVIEW]

God help me, this was better than at any of the many taco shops I've been to. Red salsa isn't quite the fit, green would probably fit better. The guac was ruined by mom being a stoner (She put sour cream in it. Like, a tub of sour cream.)
« Last Edit: November 08, 2013, 09:35:06 PM by 8ullfrog »

Offline xtopave

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2013, 10:23:57 PM »

Madre mía! Guacamole without onions?! Tsk, tsk...  :D

The guac was ruined by mom being a stoner (She put sour cream in it. Like, a tub of sour cream.)

I've made a dip with avocado and cream cheese (I added other things that I don't remember) once and it was very good. Sour cream though...  :-\

Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2013, 11:37:53 PM »
Onion is a garnish. You can also put in peppers and or tomato. But base quac is essentially just smashed avocado. Even the lime juice is just to add some flavor and prevent browning.

Offline dweez

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2013, 12:19:42 AM »
You really gonna argue about it with someone who's people perfected it?

*Note* I've never liked guacamole mostly because of the color.  It looks so unfood-like.
--dweez

Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2013, 01:55:15 AM »
I was shocked how much vehement hatred regarding those two videos I saw. I mean part of that is youtube quality, but a lot of it was straight up racism. Like how dare white people enjoy burritos.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2013, 06:10:05 AM »
People eat food.  They like food.  Who gives a flying f what color they are?

I make guac w/avocado, lime juice, smashed clove of garlic, a little chili powder and cumin.

I used to put scallions, tomatoes and the occasional chopped pepper in there, but lordy, those other ingredients took over.  Now, it's back to basics, and usually great.  The local produce market sells the very ripe avocados for a song in a bag.  I'll pick one up, make a huge batch and freeze it in small containers.  The lime juice keeps it green and it freezes well.

Offline xtopave

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2013, 07:55:21 AM »
I'll pick one up, make a huge batch and freeze it in small containers.  The lime juice keeps it green and it freezes well.

This is a good tip! I didn't think it could freeze well. I gather it's just avocado and lime juice you freeze?

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2013, 06:06:30 PM »
I mix the juice, garlic, spices and smashed avocado until it's smooth.  Then I divide it so I've got enough for a couple days and the rest I put in appropriate sized containers and freeze. 

I also do this with cranberry orange sauce at thanksgiving.  I run raw cranberries & a whole orange w/sugar in a food processor until they are smooth.  This also freezes well.  We freeze homemade tomato (pasta) sauce, soups, and bread.  It's surprising how well this works.

Offline xtopave

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2013, 09:47:12 PM »
We freeze homemade tomato (pasta) sauce, soups, and bread.

I always freeze those too.

Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2013, 12:28:11 AM »
You can freeze just about anything, it's the unfreezing where the devil is in the details.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #10 on: November 10, 2013, 10:09:12 AM »
Yup.  And there's where Walt Disney gets into trouble.

Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2013, 05:20:05 AM »
I waited a little too long on the Carne Asada fries. Made a small plate yesterday and it was quality.

Unfortunately, I flushed today's effort down the toilet. Tri-tip timed out mothafucka.

 We don't have a garbage disposal.

Roommate gets pissy when I do that, but whatevs. He thinks it's cool to just spoon poo off into the trashcan and never clean the trashcan out. Holy poo. I think at this point the can outside should just be melted to slag in bless'ed fiend-fire.

I hit the kitchen like ramsey. Butter knife up in the stove scraping out the nasty. Roommate got all muttery and called me "cunty" He sprayed foaming ammonia spray into a pilot light. We didn't die but Gott damn.

Seriously, that foamy poo is for toilets, not stoves. There is more and all that poo, but it's probably meant for the roommate chronicles.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: California Screamin'
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2013, 09:29:08 AM »
Oven cleaner, not ammonia, would have been ok, but not on a part of the stove with an active pilot light.  jeez.  And ample ventilation is a no brainer.

I think oven cleaner is a strong lye solution, also a basic pH, but probably more effective than ammonia.  Neither one of them is good to breathe.

I know you are in an apartment building, but don't you guys have separate containers for green waste (table scraps, lawn clippings, plant-based trash, etc.)?