Author Topic: Eggo Shrink Ray  (Read 3084 times)

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Offline 8ullfrog

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Eggo Shrink Ray
« on: November 23, 2013, 11:27:28 PM »
I skip breakfast. I know it's bad, but most mornings I feel like if I eat something, or force down coffee, I'm gonna puke.

So I bought some french toast eggos. SURPRISE, the pesky-folk hit it with a shrink ray, and went cheaper on materials.

I remember a few years back when the shelves were empty of eggos. Supposedly, a production plant had flooded, and they were poo out of anything but the horrible grainy waffles.

Now I figure some hotshot got his bless'ed MBA and decided to cause the shortage to switch over production lines to those shitty grainy kind ONLY.

In my toaster, a full french toast waffle takes up only half a slot. I could fit both in the same side of the toaster, were I so inclined. Additionally, they have reformulated the previously delicious breakfast to a shitty mealy thing that tastes like the shitsack corn pancakes I had to make for history class in 3rd grade.

We are living in the gods damned future. I can yell at my phone and it educates me, why in the golly is eggo screwing with my breakfast?

Our forefathers poo in buckets. I'm sure that's cheaper from an economic standpoint than toilets, but I'm pretty sure that falls under the pursuit of happiness clause. Do you really want to poo in buckets America?

Offline smokester

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Re: Eggo Shrink Ray
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2013, 07:25:37 AM »
It was revealed here that when a company says "New and Improved", it usually means a smaller portion.  It may be technically true but it is still unscrupulous in my opinion.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline xtopave

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Re: Eggo Shrink Ray
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2013, 08:00:45 AM »
I know what you mean, folks. I've been buying the same crackers for years. I couldn't fit the packet of crackers inside the cookie jar without ripping open the packet and taking out a few crackers. One day I realized it losely fit inside the jar without having to open it!! Unfortunately, in my inflation-ridden country that's common practice.