Author Topic: John Wick (Spoiler thread)  (Read 819 times)

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Offline 8ullfrog

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John Wick (Spoiler thread)
« on: May 16, 2019, 06:46:31 AM »

III is just flat out non-bless'ed sensical, and I should have been warned off by 2.

1 was simple. They killed his dog, and stole his car. Did they mention it a few too many times, yeah? But it was a sensible action film.

The weird poo was there, but it was stylish instead of forced down our throats ala fois gras. These people use Gold coins for dark business, and it can be left at that.

They have a rule against killing in the hotel, yeah, it makes sense for a hotel of assassins to have a no business zone.

So 1 ends sanely, or as sane as any hollywood movie.

2, 2 is bless'ed dumb. We add more stupid fetter, this time in the form of markers. A stupid bless'ed idea, especially if you're a pragmatic killer. IOU's can only come back to golly you, and it does.

John works an impossible mission in a stupidly convoluted environment. Where "Dinner reservations" were a bit wink nod, having the gun master be a sommelier is just authorial jackin' it. A bridge past where I'm willing to suspend disbelief. In Kingsmen, it's camp. Here, we're just supposed to "Turn our brains off" and eat popcorn, a premise I've always found fuckstupid.

So we keep being told why things are how they are, and John boy really is in a corner, isn't he. Let's hammer the rules in 50 bless'ed times, so when John breaks it, the audience will be shocked.

I wasn't shocked. It was dumb. And then Ian Mcshane jerks it in Keanu's general direction. A power play when he's supposedly on John's side.

And then we get to three. Where the one person who needs a bullet more than anyone else, doesn't eat one. Because she's gender non-binary. Oh, I'm supposed to say "they" not she. Like I give a golly, Adjudicator needed to die, and did not.

I mean, John goes on a whole vision quest for a second chance, and instantly throws it away, only to be betrayed by the person he stood for. Halle Berry and her entire plot are superflous. Like, if they cut her scenes, it wouldn't affect the film. Could have just had him do the whole standoff in the hotel without sending him out into the sahara.

For a minute, I thought he chose to die in the sahara to deny the assasin squad the 15 million dollar payout, but no, he yakuza's his ring finger to stay alive. I really, REALLY hate finger amputation as a plot device. I almost stopped watching Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang when it was used, but RDJ got his finger sewn back on. John isn't so lucky.

And he immedietely renegs on his second chance. Why? We don't get a reason, he just does. And is instantly betrayed to set up the fourth movie.

I mean, I should have been warned off by the matrix, but this one blatantly set up the 4th movie that I'm not gonna watch. I'm done with the franchise. I'm glad the TV series never materialized, it's poo.

Oh, also, like 4-5 times, when people have the drop on him, they let him live because "John Wick". Then he kills them, proving their stupidity was terminal.

People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories, so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2019, 07:33:10 AM by 8ullfrog »