Author Topic: Amusing Spam Threats  (Read 10239 times)

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Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #30 on: August 02, 2023, 09:56:53 AM »
Happy bidet 2 u, smokes!

Many thanks.

I don't think I'll be called "whippersnapper" by christ again. Unless I change my name to whippersnapper.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #31 on: August 02, 2023, 11:35:53 AM »
In order:

Apart from that you got everything right!



No, you aren't.

Gosportarians are so in touch with nature. Many thanks.

I wouldn't bet on it, whippersnapper.

Ok, I'll abandon my deed poll application as it now seems unnecessary.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline goldshirt*9

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #32 on: August 03, 2023, 08:13:57 AM »
22 again many happs

Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #33 on: August 04, 2023, 04:11:11 AM »
Ta.

Not a threat, but to a brit this may as well be greek:

Quote
Hey,
I found the weirdest, most brutally effective tool for storing my sidearm that I've ever seen online.
It's actually where my CCW is hanging out right now. 
The best part is that it gives me a way FASTER finger-to-trigger time than my holster does.
...Even after practicing for years, this thing is faster!
It's unlike anything I've ever laid my eyes on (I don't say that lightly).
In fact, after buying one for myself, I contacted the manufacturer and struck a deal to get these Rapid Access Mounts produced for you, my loyal subscribers.
The manufacturer agreed to send over 500 immediately and I figured I'd let my subscribers act as "Early Adopters."
These won't last long though, since this is going out to a list of over 100,000 tactical gearheads...
Get Your Early Adopter Savings - 60% OFF + Free S&H
Jorge
P.S. These mounts are so strong they allow you to rack the slide while it's still mounted under your dash/desk!
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #34 on: August 04, 2023, 04:30:39 AM »
Sneaky gun boy draw gun faster with stupid accessory.
Want to sell stupid accessory.
You get special deal because you friend of Jorge.


Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #35 on: August 04, 2023, 05:41:12 AM »
Sneaky gun boy draw gun faster with stupid accessory.
Want to sell stupid accessory.
You get special deal because you friend of Jorge.

Me and Jorge, eh, we go way back.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #36 on: August 06, 2023, 02:09:06 PM »
Yeah.  But you better get on it, because Jorge has a limited supply of these fab accessories.

The lack of threats in my spam folder lately has disappointed me.  They just want to sell me stuff, instead.
"Hi, Are You Still Single?  Anna - Meet Cute Russian - Hi baby I'm waiting..."
I'm more inclined to have "Empire Bring Hundreds of Quality Flooring Samples to Your Home."

Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #37 on: August 07, 2023, 06:01:52 AM »
Yeah.  But you better get on it, because Jorge has a limited supply of these fab accessories.

Unfortunately, I have no dollars.

The lack of threats in my spam folder lately has disappointed me.  They just want to sell me stuff, instead.
"Hi, Are You Still Single?  Anna - Meet Cute Russian - Hi baby I'm waiting..."
I'm more inclined to have "Empire Bring Hundreds of Quality Flooring Samples to Your Home."

Do you know, if I claimed all the prizes I've won, I could open a shop.

Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #38 on: August 07, 2023, 12:14:33 PM »
Maybe you could set up a wholesale operation and sell back to the spammers?

Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #39 on: August 07, 2023, 06:46:43 PM »
I looked up "rapid access mounts" and they look suspiciously like "sliding keyboard drawer under desk".

Which... even those are unreliable. I bless'ed hate them and buy larger disks to AVOID the "key drawer".

It's even worse when you need to fit a mouse in. It's like someone designed computer desks once, before mice existed, and decided "Yes, mark this down as permanent."

It's poo.

I got an invoice in my spam, but I didn't open it. PDF's aren't trustworthy.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #40 on: August 11, 2023, 11:26:48 AM »
Wow.  That's annoying.  I haven't gotten any good threats lately, just one that suggests I can enhance a part of my anatomy that doesn't exist.  Apparently this is the result of a unique trial at Harvard.  It managed to "get 97yo hard as a rock."  It doesn't specify what's 97 years old:  tree? automobile tires? but my suspicion is some old geezer who may not remember what to do with this benefit.

I keep hoping for better spam.  If they have to send it to me, at least it should be entertaining.

Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #41 on: August 11, 2023, 03:51:55 PM »
My clodfee account is now closed.

Which once again, is news to me. If they meant cloudflare, I'd never give that company a dime.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #42 on: August 11, 2023, 10:05:58 PM »
Clodfee.  Hmmm.  That's interesting.

Edit:
maybe they meant this.  The drinks look delicious.
https://thecoffeehouse.com/products/cloudfee-hanh-nhan-nuong
« Last Edit: August 11, 2023, 11:49:11 PM by 6pairsofshoes »

Offline dweez

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #43 on: August 12, 2023, 11:20:43 AM »
Happy B-lated B-day smokester. Sorry it was late. I was in Las Vegas for a pool tournament. We did horribly but fun was had by all.
--dweez

Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #44 on: August 12, 2023, 04:05:58 PM »
Happy B-lated B-day smokester. Sorry it was late. I was in Las Vegas for a pool tournament. We did horribly but fun was had by all.

Thanks bro.

I come from a Snooker background so I used to find pool a bit of a doddle - especially American pool with the large pockets. That was before my eyes decided to become  super-low-definition. 
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.