Topic: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)

[cz85b]

Though it should be said that the fact that said crossdressers lacked the standard plumbing options he was looking for, Biddy thought SEX WAS SEX, and did it anyway!  Which, of course, was how he became interested in wearing the lacy gold thongs in the first place (either with or without Rhinestones)  And NO, nobody wants to imagine this...

Ahhhhh  Good times...  Memories triggered a course of action!  Biddy knew EXACTLY what to do now!!  He

[cz85b]

and then the most amazing thing happened!  The midget from before showed up!!  Somehow he managed to climb out of the crevasse and there he was standing in front of the biddys..  Not sure exactly what to do next nobody did anything UNTIL

[Sophocles]

the younger Biddy broke wind.  All eyes were now on the spotty oink Biddy.  Every nose present was turned away in revolted disgust.  Silence...

<At this point the camera pans in on a rolling tumbleweed as it makes its way across an abandoned landscape> 

"Soooo, hmm, what happened in the year 2000 then, does the y2k computer bug bring about an end to civilisation as we know it?" asked the spotty oink Biddy.

Older Biddy was just about to answer this line of enquiry from his younger self when all of a sudden out of nowhere...   

[Robin-Graves]

 A box of vegimite!!!!
"Mom must be close!" thought Biddy, since she can smell the stuff ten miles away.
No amount of rehab can break her addictions to sex,vegimite,bad tv,spandex, and cheap booz.
 Maybe it cured herof her addiction toputting small rodents named Oscar into un named crevaces of herbody,,but no one had the curage to ask,much lesscheck.
Suddenly , this large black shape loomed in the horizen,,it was,,,,,

[cz85b]

a durigible shaped like Biddy's Mum's favorite sex toy!  it drifted casually before settling down into the

[Sophocles]

inside of "BJ Ray" Johnson's left thigh and thereby splattering Johnson's one remaining testicle. 

As Johnson lay there in a contorted prostrate position, breathing his last few remaining breaths, coughing up blood and anathemising everything that breathed in the universe and beyond, the rest of the party stared in absolute horror at the diabolical object that had suddenly encroached into the path of their pitiable existence. 

"What the golly is that?" asked the spotty oink Biddy. 
"Ugh, well a little after your time." replied older Biddy.  "It's one of our mother's sex toys; she must be close, and can you smell the miasmic omnipresence of Vegemite?  She's close!  Very close!!"

So dear reader.  Can it be? Biddy's mum here?  It couldn't be.  Surely not, and so on.  Little did they realise that the monolithic sex toy was in fact a gargantuan trojan dildo.  Suddenly, from inside the toy they heard the sound of...

[Robin-Graves]

Biddy broke out his trusty Swiss Army Knife with the convenient folding chainsaw accessory ( not to mention the toolto find the intrinsic truth in others statements, the meaning of life and the lost chapters od Beningers " Sex with the mentaly insane") and rushed to the scene!
 As he started cutting a passage out of the giant apliance,,suddenly he saw written in small letering,,,,

[Sophocles]

"CAUTION! Make sure appliance is well lubricated prior to use"

"Well duh!" Said older Biddy.
 
Younger Biddy nodded with agreement and said, "Haha, who on earth would image that anyone would have such temerity and a lack of acuity not to lubricate oneself up to the elbow before using that thing, especially if using it up the derriere haha."  Biddy's facade suddenly went blank, a peculiar expression came over his entire face.  He said "Very strange, an odd feeling has come over me; a weird feeling of sanguinity has suddenly permeated my entire being; I think everything is going to be all right!!"

Older Biddy looked at his younger self in dismay and asked "Young Biddy, you haven't been looking at the 'Word of the Day' on the forum have you?"

Young Biddy blushed a bright sanguine colour, and quickly picked up the Swiss army knife and continued with the sawing.  The noise in the massive anal dildo was getting loader and more frantic, if they didn't open it soon it...

[Robin-Graves]

a sex toy anymore,,but a giant coffin.
 While sawing away,a sudden idea hit,,,,,,,

[Robin-Graves]

to
be
continued,,,,,

[cz85b]

the vibrations in the giant coffin, changed from the giant anal probe  (pronounced A-nol Pro-bay) were rattling the Biddy's skulls... 

Soon there would be issues, both knew this yet the sawing continued...  There had to be some way to

[Robin-Graves]

Meanwhile,,a thousand miles away, a small pixie named Marve waswalkingalong,minding his own businesswhen suddenly,a large blue glowing cow from the planet plabulbla ( pronounced DUH!) appeared out of nowhere.
 Marvelooked at it and thought " WOW! Look at that bundle of steaks!"
 The alien cow said toMarve" Behold and bein terror of ,,,,,,

[Sophocles]

The more discerning reader will of course ascertain that the 'bundle of steaks' aka 'large blue glowing cow' was in fact Marnio, the big cheese of the League of Mongo (LoM - pronounced xyzthphly). 

Marnio quickly wiped out the annoying cadaverous pixie thingy by letting rip a gigantic toxic fart of mammoth bovine proportions.  Marnio rubbed its legs together in malicious satisfaction and curled its lips up into a wicked cow smile.  Donning its supercow cape, it then flew into the heavens towards the planet where Biddy et al where still frantically sawing at the giant anal probe (pronounced A-nol Pro-bay).

Travelling at twice the speed of light and almost seven times the speed of cow fart,  Mongo would soon reach Biddy et al and...

[Robin-Graves]

exact his bovine revenge.
 Why it was revenge was still unknown,since Biddy et al did not even know that Marnio even existed.
 Biddy and company ,still sawing a hole into the giant anal probe , sudenly discovered a hatch for the giant batteries.
Opening the hatch,and removing the bateries,they discovered the source of the cries for help. It was a gayly dressed dwarf .
 The dwarf hopped out, and handed them a business card.
The card said: Casanunda,,,Famouse Lover,Highwayman,and Outrageous Liar.
 Biddy looked at the card and asked if this was true,and Casanunda replied " Ask your mother".
 Suddenly,,there was a bovine sized thunderclap as a blue cow entered the planets atmosphere at 7 timesthe speedof acaw fart. ( please excuseme,imlaughing myself insane).
 Biddy looked upand said,,,,,,,

[cz85b]

It's a Bird...  It's a flying Anal Probe (pronounced A-nol Pro-bay) NO, WAIT!! It is a GLOWING BLUE RADIOACTIVE COW!!!

Meanwhile, Mongo noticed something behind Biddy... A gigantic bowl of Candy, and as everyone knows..

MONGO LIKE CANDY!

Mongo