I'm told that the books are much better.

There's me thinking one can find you everywhere.

Thankfully the Sargassum only really affects the Atlantic side, which is the shitty side anyway. I tend to eat mainly fish that I get from the guys preparing it on by the little harbour in a place called Gros Islet. They know me well and give me at a local price. It's cheap as chips, but the chips are expensive ...

Pthbppppptttttt.

You won't find me in "abroad".

I can understand wanting to distance yourself from other tourists, but, unless you are willing to relocate somewhere for a couple of years, you can't escape being one.

Both Spain and Portugal are beautiful with rich cultural treasures to explore and very good food.  The islands are simply nature on display:  mosquitoes carrying dengue fever; iguana poop; termites; zika virus.  Then there's the broad swaths of Sargasse (seaweed) that show up on the beaches from time to time (I won't mention the occasional shark attacks).  This array spoils a beautiful tropical backdrop that includes picturesque goats and horses running around the beaches and winding roads.  It also includes tourists who think having fun involves getting drunk and cranking up their karaoke machines at 2 in the morning to volumes guaranteed to annoy their neighbors.  Then, there's the guys who want to burn their rubbish because, even though it's illegal to do so, it costs too much to take it to the dump.  That smells just great.  I can't speak to the virtues of Santa Lucia, but it's done a great deal to wreck the paradise that was once St. Martin.  But, on the plus side, they've got Burger King and KFC, in case you are craving American fast food.

Surely, Europe has its own problems, but, then again, I can understand wanting to escape the vagaries of a British winter.  There are some quiet beaches where the lull of waves and the warm clear water makes it all just seem so far away.