Author Topic: Things that made you laugh today  (Read 145172 times)

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Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #480 on: June 05, 2024, 03:13:46 PM »
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #481 on: June 05, 2024, 04:24:30 PM »
Ha!

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter, it’s not going to come anyway.

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #482 on: June 06, 2024, 02:05:12 AM »
What do you call a dog with no legs?

Russell
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #483 on: June 09, 2024, 07:51:19 AM »
A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years out in a park. One day a wizard, feeling sorry for the statues, brought them to life for 30 minutes. Right away, the two of them ran into some nearby bushes and you could hear all kinds of strange sounds from there. After a while they came back out, giggling. The wizard told them “You have another 15 minutes left, if you want to have another go.” The statues looked at each other and the male statue answered “Fine, but this time you hold the pigeon and I will poo on it.”

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #484 on: June 09, 2024, 10:48:06 AM »
Why did pirates never sail down the River Thames?

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Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

There is an exception to every rule, apart from this one.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #485 on: June 10, 2024, 02:56:29 PM »
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #486 on: June 12, 2024, 05:15:36 PM »
Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #487 on: June 13, 2024, 02:54:13 AM »
The worst pub I’ve ever been to was called The Fiddle. It really was a vile Inn.
Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

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Offline goldshirt*9

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #488 on: June 14, 2024, 07:07:02 AM »
 ;D

Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #489 on: June 17, 2024, 06:28:18 AM »
I once met a giant.

I didn't know what to say, so I used big words.

Offline smokester

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #490 on: Yesterday at 08:17:14 AM »
What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the European Cup?

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Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Things that made you laugh today
« Reply #491 on: Yesterday at 12:19:48 PM »
Ha!

The Boston Celtics just won their 18th NBA championship.  The locals went wild.  It was pretty amusing.

What's Irish and stays out all night?
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« Last Edit: Yesterday at 12:22:14 PM by 6pairsofshoes »